The Perfect Revenge

Thirty-one

Jake

"Hello?"

When no one immediately answered, I growled. "Hello?"

"S-sir," tawag ng secretary ko.

I gripped the steering wheel. Seven months na siyang regular employee pero not a day has passed na hindi siya takot sa akin. "What is it, Katrina?" I asked, impatient. 

Baka dahil na rin sa pleasing kong personality these past few months.

"Your site visit for this afternoon just cancelled. Free po Sir yung entire afternoon niyo. Do you want me to rearrange your schedule and pencil in a client meeting at four, Sir?"

It was a miracle na naka-form siya ng tatlong dire-diretsong sentences. I've heard what they've been saying about me. Binansagan nila akong Triple B which stands for Beauty but a Beast sa office since I started being harsh to my Dad's employees. They think I'm not nice.  

"No, Katrina. Please clear the afternoon for me." It has been a long time since I had half a day to myself. Maybe this is a sign. Someone's finally giving me a break. Though ako mismo ang nagpa-pile ng trabaho sa sarili ko, I am finally acknowledging that I need to rest. I'm starting to feel the strain of the last few month's stress. "You can take the rest of the day off, too."

"H-ho?" Tila hindi siya makapaniwala sa kabaitan ko.

"Go home, Katrina. I'll see you tomorrow." Bago pa man siya makapag-reiterate, I turned my phone off. Saka ko tinanggal yung headset ko. Now who's not nice? I could be nice when I want.

But you're not nice, Jake. Not really.

With the rest of the day ahead and with nothing I could think of to do, nagpaikot-ikot lang ako sa country roads, not knowing where it will take me. My team and I just got off a proposal meeting sa may Laguna and we headed back separately. Walang magtangkang sumama sa akin sa ride home.

Ngayon nasa expressway ako, thinking of where to go next. I could go home, read a book or watch a movie. But they held no appeal. Besides, everytime na nasa bahay ako, I can't erase the feeling that the place started feeling cold and empty. Saglit lang siyang nag-stay doon pero bawat sulok ng lugar, it holds a memory of her. Of her cooking in the kitchen. Her arranging the dining table. Her watching basketball on my flat screen. Her hogging the covers in my bed. Her singing in the shower. Her face in the hallway when I shouted those words.

I tried to get her off my head. Hell, even one night, at my desperate attempt to numb myself, I even invited Cherry for dinner. It did not end well.

Every day I think of AJ and every day I fight the urge to go to her and... I don't know. Maraming scenarios na namuo sa isip ko about what I would say pero not a single one of them is enough.

After that fateful night, I lost so many I value. I lost a best friend, I lost a sister, and I lost someone special. Anim na buwan ko nang hindi kinakausap si Gage at Vivian. I let the lies and the hurt that they have caused fester in my chest hanggang sa mag-give up na yung kapatid ko to reason with me. I tried. I really did. Gusto kong ibalik sa dati yung relationship naming dalawa. I just don't think I can forgive her.

And Gage... ilang beses siyang pwedeng mag-man up. Ang dami niyang opportunities to tell me the truth but he chose to hide behind the lie. Hinayaan niyang lumaki yung gulo.

Mom noticed all of this. The fact na hindi na ako umuuwi ng bahay every Saturday. I seldom take her calls. I avoid her every single time. I know I'm hurting her, too. I know she wants to fix this for me but I don't let her in. Nagi-guilty ako sa kanya kasi she raised me to be better than this guy I've become but look what I'm doing. I'm constantly letting her down.