The Perfect Revenge

Thirty-six

Jake

"I knew I'd find you here."

Lumingon ako and saw my dad walking towards where I was sitting at the edge of the railing.

Tumigil siya sa tabi ko. "You're not five anymore, anak. I told you it's not safe to sit there."

I stared blankly at him and then below where only cars' taillights reach our spot at the thirtieth floor of the first ever building my father has designed for our company. Dito niya ako lagi dinadala noong bata pa ako and we will always watch the sun set together. I can't remember kung kelan kami natigil magkaroon ng bonding moment but every time I feel down, this is where I go. My own personal sanctuary.

Dad pointed at a building a couple of miles away. "Look at that. Carolina Tower. Ang iyong first project."

"The one I named after my mother." My real mother.

Nag-nod si Dad. He started pointing off other buildings that I've been part of creating, even the ones that were still in progress. Though hindi pa naman iyon marami katulad ng kanya, nasorpresa ako dahil alam niya ang bawat isa, even each one's history.

I shouldn't be surprised. This is my father after all. Kahit hindi siya expressive sa kanyang sentiments katulad ni Mom, alam kong he's been there through my achievements and failures. At base sa tone ng kanyang boses while citing all of my achievements, I know he's proud of me.

He shouldn't be.

"Aren't you going to offer me a drink?" He nodded towards the flask in my hand.

I stared at it before ko iniabot sa kanya.

Hinawakan niya lang ang flask. That's when I figured na modus lang iyon ni Dad para hindi na ako uminom pa. He thinks I've reached my limit. "What's wrong son? You've been distracted ever since you came back. Nagtataka rin ang mga employee dahil you're not your usual self."

"You mean hindi ako Triple B lately?"

His lips twitched. So he knows that, too. "My secretary says you're more... subdued than usual. And ang itim ng eyebags mo. You're not sleeping either."

"I fucked up, Dad." I faced him to see his reaction pero pinagtaasan niya lang ako ng brows. "AJ's pregnant."

I learned my poker face from him and it never failed him kahit ngayon. Itinaas niya yung flask, binuksan, and took one large gulp. Afterwards, he hoisted himself up the railing at umupo sa tabi ko. "Okay. Lay it all out. Ready na akong making."

Without hesitation, I told him everything. Wala akong pinalampas. I told him all the beautiful moments and the ugly details. 'Di ako nag-censor sa lahat ng katangahan, kabobohan, kaduwagan at pagkamakasarili ko. I did not paint myself as the good guy. Pagod na pagod ako pagkatapos but at the same time, I was slightly relieved. Mas naramdaman ko ang weight ng mistakes ko the moment I laid it all on the table for Dad's judgment.

I seldom see my dad sad but in that moment, iyon lang ang word na makakapag-describe sa aura niya. I was expecting disappointment, maybe even disgust. But not sadness.

"Carol told me," he began.

"What do you mean, Dad?"

"That she was pregnant. She told me about you." He looked at me at alam kong kita niya ang shock sa mukha ko. All this time I thought my father never knew na may anak siya until she died. "I told her to get rid of you."

My throat started to constrict at that revelation. Napa-clench ako ng fist ko, starting to get angry at him for even considering it.

My Dad sat up straighter, naka-ready sa magiging reaction ko. I think if I wanted to punch him, hindi siya iilag, base sa stance niya. "I'm not going to justify my actions back then. In my mind, I was young, twenty-one, fresh out of college and was just starting at the firm. I have my whole life in front of me. Hindi ko kailangan ng distractions ng isang pamilya. Carol thought otherwise. She slapped me for being an asshole. Ayaw ka niyang i-give up. I hated her then. Her decision will cost me my future and I can't risk that. Kaya I left her to pay for my mistakes.