WARNING: The usual language and trigger and shit like that. I'm not in a good mood today
You are my fucking parents and all you do is talkshit me?!
You were the ones supposed to be concerned for my welfare yet you were more concerned with money and my grades?!
Are you trying to manipulate me?!
What was the best thing you gave to me?
Education maybe?
Where are you two when I needed you the most?
I am your eldest, your first child, the one who took risks for everything
I tried to make you happy
I tried to please you
This is your motherfucking result of intense ignorance
My talents are nearly abandoned
I don't fucking blame you
I fucking blamed myself
Mom, Dad...
If you talkshit me again...
Tell me
How do you feel if someone is taken away from you?
I hope you knew what's going on my mind
I'm so troubled, depressed, suicidal and not feeling okay
Mom, Wattpad doesn't give me any money for every read or vote I get
Dad, Wattpad is my only link to my friends
If you see me using Wattpad, please don't take it away
Not because its my life
Its where I vent out my frustrations, my troubles, fulfill my wish to be accepted by writing stories
Please I hope you understand when I fail something
BECAUSE I'M NOT A MOTHERFUCKING EXPERT OR A GENIUS OR WHATEVER FUCK YOU WANTED ME TO BE
I'm only a human yet you robbed me of my childhood by constant pressure to excel
That's why I don't get along well IRL because you robbed me of my social skills
Hahaha... Isn't that nice?!
If I can't sleep at night, you beat me?
For fuck's sake, I'm falling down into depression again
Yes, I'm still battling depression
Each time you force me against my will, it get deeper
Until to a point I self-harmed
Right now, I'm looking for anything sharp...
ANYTHING THAT CAN END MY LIFE!
I'll be glad if I die tonight
Mom, Dad...
If you lose me, are you going to cry?
No
Please don't cry for me
Please don't waste your tears on me
I want to die
To die...
That was in my brain since I was in 3rd grade and bullied so much
I have no scars yet its my soul that is scarred and bloody
They say I'm a happy, easy-going and a nice person
But if you look at my eyes...
They hold secrets waiting to be told
I don't want them out
I want them to die with me
To my friends here, you were so good to me
I just wish I have normal parents who don't treat me like crap
Mom please... just talk to me how I feel
You tend to criticize me and defend others
You like to point out my weakness and ignore my strengths
You talk about me bringing some honors at the expense of others
Because of you, I cheated
I cheated in a major exam and got away with it
Not once or twice, its already too many to count
I also resorted to plagiarism
I have to do that just to give you what you wanted
I'm sorry...
I'm a cheater, liar, emo, self-harmer, stupid, ugly, a failure, loser...
I'm all of the negative traits that made me a pessimist
Mom
You failed as a mother
You fucking failed
Mom please...
I'm begging you just to show me what is love
I never experienced the real one
But why them?
WHY THEM?
You... ARE A MONSTER!
I... I...
I am a monster too...
I want to die
Because I created a monster
I failed as a person
I was the worst daughter possible
I toyed with feelings of others
I manipulated people
I'm a monster
A monster...
You can choose to leave me or stay with me
I just wanted to be loved too
I think I'm going to attempt it right now
And if I'm successful at my attempt
I hope I can find happiness in afterlife
