At All Costs || Jerrie

Chapter 22

This chapter is based on a nightmare I had for not so too long ago. Maybe the dream I'm describing won't come off as scary to you, but to me...I've never had a panic attack as powerful as the one I had once I woke up. I didn't sleep for days after that nightmare. I still have trouble sleeping because of it, and it's been over two months since that night.

~~~

Jade
A cool breeze sent shivers down my spine. Feeling goosebumps appear on my bare skin, I grabbed ahold of the thick duvet and pulled it up to my chin so it covered my entire body, protecting me from the cold.

Suddenly the duvet disappeared from my body, like someone had yanked it off me. I grabbed ahold of the "ears" and pulled it back up, but something held it back. It was like someone held it on the other end and pulled and pulled and pulled, like *it* was playing tug of war with me.

Both curious and a little scared, I looked over the edge of the bed to see what yanked the duvet off me. I regretted that decision right away. Red hair sticked out from under the bed. I covered my mouth with my hands to prevent myself from screaming out loud.

As silently as I could I let go of the duvet and laid myself down again. Before my head hit the pillow, my eyes caught a pair of big feet sticking out from the foot of the bed. I buried my teeth in the palm of my hand in an attempt to keep myself from letting out an ear-piercing scream.

My bedroom bathed in darkness. There were no source of light whatsoever. I gulped. The lack of light made this ~situation~ so much scarier. I wanted to go turn on the light in the ceiling but I didn't dare. It felt like there was someone under the bed, waiting to grab my feet and pull me down under. Nope, I'm staying in bed.

But then, like a lightning bolt from the blue, a hair-raising laugh filled the eerie bedroom. My heart rate sped up to an abnormal pace. What the hell was that?

Not wanting to know or even think about what was here with me, I buried my face in my pillow. I kept telling myself I just heard the laugh in my head and that I imagined the red hair and the big feet too. Your brain doesn't work properly when it hasn't had any rest. All it did was play tricks, mess with your mind. Like now. There couldn't possibly be anyone in here. All the doors were locked.

Drained of physical energy, I shut my eyes, attempted to fall back asleep. The peace didn't last long. The emotionless, hair-raising laugh filled the bedroom once again. Okay, I did not imagine the laugh this time. It was real. There was someone in here.

I shot my eyes open in fear. Carefully I looked over the edge of the bed. My heart stopped for a second when I saw the red hair sticking out. I hadn't imagined it. It was there before and it was there now.

If the hair was real, then the feet must be real too, and not an illusion. I swallowed hard. With a racing mind and a pounding heart, I tore my gaze from the red hair and looked in the direction where I saw the feet moments before.

"Oh no!" I squealed.

They were there, at the foot of the bed. The tip of his shoes looked like knives. My pulse throbbed in my head. This was absolutely insane. He had come back for me. And he was under my bed!

Like the cherry on top, a red balloon appeared from out of nowhere. It looked like it had been released from under the bed, where the clown I'd been scared of since age 7, lied. It stuck to the ceiling, bouncing slightly up and down.

The balloon clarified everything. He always brought a red balloon with him when he came to visit. Never blue, yellow or green. Always red. Red resembled the colour of blood, of evil, of hell...

From under the bed, the red-haired clown rolled out. He rose to his feet, appearing a lot bigger and taller than a normal clown. A dark red dress with buttons and a white lace collar covered his large frame. His eyes were two black holes, looking into them was like staring into the soulless eyes of death.

"Hello there, Jade. Have you missed me?"

An evil grin spread across his white-painted face. The red balloon popped and he began moving forward, walking towards me. I opened my mouth to scream but no sound came out. Freaked out, I made an attempt to throw my arms in the air with the intention to punch him, but it was to no use. I was paralyzed. I couldn't move nor scream for help, and he only came closer and closer, the grin on his face growing wider the closer to me he got...

"Jade, wake up!"

A hard slap in the face brought me back to reality. I sat straight up in bed, drenched in sweat as I struggled to breathe. My chest was tight, like someone had wrapped a thick rope tightly around my upper body, squeezing my lungs to pieces. It felt like something blocked my airways, like I accidentally had swallowed a peanut and my body was going into anaphylaxis shock.

"I-I c-can't b-breathe!" I stuttered.

"Yes, you can, baba, calm down, I'm here" Perrie cooed.

She rubbed my back comfortingly, whispering soothing words in the process. My heart was racing, my pulse sky-high. I fought to get some air in my lungs, but nothing I did worked out the way I wanted it to. My body refused to absorb the air I tried to inhale.

I'm gonna die.

Realizing my breathing wouldn't go back to normal, I rolled out of bed and bolted out of the bedroom. I threw the door to the balcony open and fell down to my knees, gasping for air. The cool night air seemed to help. My pulse went down and slowly but surely I regained control of my breathing.

Holding onto the cool balcony railing for dear life, I focused on one breath at a time, allowed myself to take the time I needed to recover from the panic attack. Thanks to the fresh air and cool breezes, it didn't take too long until I felt like my normal self again.

Feeling scared and shaken up after the nightmare that seemed so real, I let go of the railing and leaned my back against the rough wall. I curled up into a ball, wanted nothing more but for this night to end. Undesired tears filled my tired eyes, blurred my vision, and before I knew the word of it, I began sobbing uncontrollably.

"Baby, are you okay?"

Sensing my girlfriend's presence, I looked up from my knees. Perrie kneeled down next to me. Because of the tears I cried I couldn't read the expression on her face. All I could say for sure was that she came off as worried, scared for me.

"Oh, sweetheart" she cooed.

She wrapped me up in her arms. I buried my face in her chest, continued crying like a little baby who got away from her parents in the mall. Perrie stroked my back, kissed me on top of my head every now and then.

"Schh, it's alright. I'm here, honey, I'm here. You're safe" she whispered lovingly.

I held onto her as if my life depended on it. I cried into her chest, didn't care that I smeared her bare skin with green snot, she'd have time to wash it off in the morning. She kept whispering sweet nothings as she rocked me back and forth, doing her best to comfort me.

She didn't stop comforting me or reassuring me that I was safe until I eventually stopped crying and could go back to bed.

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Took me three hours to write about that goddamn nightmare, couldn't bear to keep going after the second paragraph 😰 Had to go to Jade's Instagram like six times and look at the photos with the wig a Mixer threw up on stage in Sydney. Too freakin' funny 😂

Oh, and it's now past 5 in the morning but I'm not going to sleep. Should've waited to write this chapter until the sun came up, would've been less scarier. Well, it's safe to say I won't go to sleep tonight, or tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow...😥

xxMxx