Could You Love Me

Could You Love Me {XVI}

"Your head is filled with unproven thoughts
Twisting theories into bigger knots
And I feel you dreaming
You're done believing"

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

"I'm in desperate need of a shower." Imogen groaned, exiting her Jeep, still sweating from the hike back down the mountain.

"Yes you are. One, you stink, and two, we're going to a party tonight." Alexander announced, making Imogen flick his ear.

"Party?" I questioned, not looking up from my camera.

"Yes, at my buddies a few houses down." Alex replied, making my suspicions grow. "Don't worry O, you'll have fun."

"I'll be the judge of that." I sang, grabbing my bag and walking inside.

I walked up the stairs into the room, sitting down on the bench by the window, plugging my hard drive from my camera into my laptop. The first picture that popped up was of Axel and I behind the waterfall, and Imogen wasn't lying when she said it looked good.

We both looked so happy, like we were two different people. It was so dreadfully adorable that it was disgusting and I felt repulsed by liking it.

But the shots Ella got of us jumping off the cliff were priceless. I looked ridiculous in the majority of them, screaming, squeezing my eyes closed, and clutching Axel for dear life. But two in particular found their way to fit in the same category as adorably disgusting.

One was as we were falling, the both of us were laughing and it looked so pure. The other one was from when we came back up from underwater, in each other's arms. I wanted to say it was cringe because it was, but it still caused butterflies in my stomach.

Too bad he friendzoned you.

"Would you like to shower first?" Axel questioned, startling me.

I cleared my throat as I looked up at him, feeling slightly flustered. "Um no, go ahead."

"Okay." He replied, walking toward the bathroom and stopping at the door frame, turning back to me with a smirk. "I like that picture by the way."

Oh, kill me now.

***

Alexander lied, and by lied, I meant really lied.

I was having zero 'fun' at the party and was in fact wanting and ready to commit murder. The night had been decent until I saw Axel, posted up in the corner with some girl, giving me flashbacks of the first time I caught him in his natural player ways. They looked as if they were flirting intensely and he looked intrigued instead of bored.

He never looked at me like that.

"Who cares if he looks at you like that?" I huffed, talking to myself, stealing a bottle from the cooler and walking outside, laying down in the vacant yard.

Alcohol and I seemed to have a great relationship. It was always there when I need it, it never failed to please me, and rarely ever gave me a headache. I would say that was a pretty damn good relationship.

The only relationship I needed.

By the time I pulled out of my thoughts, my self loathing distracted me from realizing there was only a decent sip left of my bottle.

I take back what I said, even alcohol leaves me.

"Party got boring?" My night ruiner questioned, lying down next to me.

"More like ruined." I muttered, his eyes trying to read me.

I didn't want to argue with him, not wanting to ruin the last night of vacation. I actually didn't want anything to do with him, though the stupid, irrelevant, annoying feelings I was feeling existed solely because of my stupidity, not his. After all, the whole thing had been one sided the entire time. I was the one who went to Axel when I wanted peace between us. I was the one who confided my darkest secrets in him. I was the one who put myself in the trap that I was in.

So I had to bite the bullet.

"What's wrong?" Axel questioned, his hand reaching out towards my face, making me flinch.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Just tired that's all." I lied, standing up. "I'm gonna head back, stay and have fun with the whor- the party."

I laughed at myself for slipping up, which was the alcohol completely. Everyone knew I wasn't one to express my feelings.

Axel's eyebrow furrowed as he watched me walk away, stumbling back to the house. I walked through the door, accidentally hitting the coat rack, making a noise.

"Shh!" I scolded, realizing it was myself making the noise.

I need help.

I walked as quietly as I could up the stairs, quickly changing into pajama's before grabbing my pillow off of the bed, walking back downstairs, just in case Axel wanted to bring his new friend back.

I laid down on the couch, letting the only other thing I treasured besides alcohol, overcome me.

Surprisingly, I slept well on the couch, only that it wasn't the couch. I woke up in the bed, which confused me and made my brain do flips. I looked next to me to find the bed empty no sign of anyone else in the room with me, making me grow eerie.

I climbed out of bed, slowly creeping down the steps, stopping when I saw Axel sound asleep in my spot on the couch. I put two and two together, coming to the obvious conclusion that he put me in the bed when I was sleeping and took the couch.

That made it hard to stay mad at him.

Though I generally had nothing to be mad about. It wasn't like we were an item or dating.

Ugh, gag.

"Good morning." Kate smiled, walking down the stairs. "We have to be out by twelve and it's nine so start waking everyone up please, hun."

I nodded, walking back up the stairs.

Talking to Axel was the last thing I wanted to do.

***

The drive back home consisted of Chase driving because she was hungover, and me fake sleeping in the back seat with her, pretending to be hungover.

I had barely spoken two words to Axel, him seemingly not noticing or not caring, which should have been expected.

I couldn't decipher what bothered me more, me feeling jealous or Axel not caring. Either way, it was a situation I didn't want to be in, deciding for the sake of my sanity that the friend thing with Axel wasn't going to work out.

Chase pulled into my driveway and I waved goodbye as Axel and I got out. I awkwardly walked him to his car, silently cursing for putting myself in such a situation.

"Thanks for coming again." I said, keeping a grave amount of distance in between us.

"No problem." He said eerily, waving as he got into his car, speeding away.

Welp, there's that.

***