Could You Love Me

Could You Love Me {XX}

"Hey are you listening?
I cannot reach you
I'm on the other side
trying to break through"

CHAPTER TWENTY

Today was a vulnerable day. Today I was vulnerable.

Everything seemed to be in slow motion. All the pain I'd forgotten, all of the sorrow, all the regret, came seeping back in agonizingly slow.

I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to feel. You'd think after three years, I'd know how to cope with it, but I couldn't.

"We're going to go lay flowers later if you want to come." Kate spoke, coming up behind me.

She wrapped an arm around my shoulders for comfort, but I couldn't feel it. I stood there numbly, staring into the mirror.

"I'd rather go by myself, if that's alright." I managed to get out, looking down at the floor.

"Of course. I'll be here if you need anything." She said, giving me a small smile before leaving, stopping at my door. "Imogen's waiting outside for you."'

I grabbed my bag, feeling no energy whatsoever as I walked down the stairs. I put no effort into anything, how I dressed, my hair, communication, nothing.

"Hey O." Imogen greeted, as I hopped into the passenger seat.

After knowing each other our whole lives, she figured out that I hated the pity questions. 'How're you holding up?' 'Hanging in there?' 'Are you okay?' 'It's okay to be sad, you know?'. So with that knowledge she just hugged me, tightly, and that was almost enough for me to break down.

But I couldn't, I wouldn't.

We drove to school in a silence, which I was grateful for. I didn't feel like talking or much of anything. I noticed the flowers she had sitting in the back seat. I knew what they were for and I felt grateful for it and for her.

School went by miserably slow, each period seemingly taking a year to finish. At lunch I sat there numbly. Not feeling the need to do much of anything.

Axel actual made an appearance, but I didn't care.
I felt his stare on me, but it felt different, he looked worried.

Oh the actor he is.

I felt arms wrap around my shoulders, making me jump at first, until I saw the familiar watch that belonged to Chase, which I had bought him for his sixteenth birthday.

I was grateful he cared but a hug wasn't really what I needed or wanted.

"Everything okay?" Axel questioned, keeping his distance.

I looked at him then to Imogen, who's worried eyes were already on me, deciding I could only handle so much.

"Excuse me." I whispered, standing up from the table abruptly, practically running out of the cafeteria.

I didn't stop walking until I was outside in front of Imogen's car, waiting for her to come out, knowing that the odds of her following me were very high.
Confirming my assumptions, her and Chase both came out of the school, not even giving a second thought as to what was going on.