Could You Love Me

Could You Love Me {XXX}

!! A/N: WARNING: this chapter includes sexual abuse and could potentially be triggering so please be aware.

Viewer discretion is advised. !!

CHAPTER THIRTY

I was stupid for walking home by myself, especially since I was on the wrong side of the tracks.

Everything about that place was creepy at night. The flickering street lights, pitch black alleyways, the eerie silence, all of it put me on edge.

I pulled my jacket tighter around my body, cursing myself for not wearing something heavier. Then again, I didn't expect to get into an argument with Axel and walk home.

Thought we were past that.

The sound of beer bottles rolling around in a near by alleyway startled me, making me come to a halt. The closest street lamp was out so I could barely see a thing in the dark, and I debated on crossing the street.

A few minutes passed by and I heard nothing, so I decided I was just being paranoid and continued walking.

Big mistake.

Someone grabbed me, slapping their hand over my mouth so they could muffle my screams, dragging me into the alleyway. I struggled against them but they were evidently bigger and stronger than me.

I bit down on the persons hand, making them hiss in pain. It was then I realized it was a guy, which flipped the gears in my head into motion.

I quickly elbowed him in the ribs and jabbed my foot backwards to hit his knee, making him drop to the ground. I tried to run off but his hand wrapped around my ankle, ripping me to the ground, my head hitting the cement.

I wanted to scream but I couldn't. I wanted to fight back but I couldn't. I was in and out of consciousness, feeling my head pounding tremendously hard. Everything was hazy, I couldn't see straight, only managing to hear my heart beating.

I laid there on the ground, unable to move, feeling tears slide down my cheeks. I was able to cry so fast because I knew what was going to happen. I'd been through it before.

"Such a feisty one. I see why Axel's so fond of you." A familiar voice chuckled darkly, brushing my hair out of my face. "Or why Davidson misses you so much."

My eyes fell onto the face of the guy from the Snake Pit before the fight broke out, the one who knew my name. His eyebrow piercing further confirmed my suspicion and I felt bile rise in my throat, my heart pumping erratically.

I tried to scream as I felt his hands unbutton my pants, working them down my bare thighs, but it just came out as strangled cries, barely even audible.

"Shh shh, I'm gonna make you feel good." He whispered sickly into my ear, and I felt the need to throw up.

"Please stop." I managed to get out, sounding like I was gasping for air.

It was all my fault, I should've stayed at the party. I should've listened to Axel, I should've let him drive me home, I shouldn't of left his side.

But I was too stubborn to listen and look where that got me.

The sound of his pants unbuckling made me cry harder. But the worst part of it all was that it was just like what happened with Davidson, except the guy was kind enough to not beat me to death.

His disgusting hands pulled my shirt up to right underneath my chin, his eyes racking down my exposed body.

I felt disgusting, just like I did three years ago.

"You're a fucking sight." The guy grunts, licking his lips as he shrugged his pants down, making me try to yell again but I couldn't.

I tried to lift my hands from the ground to push him off, but it felt like there were thousands of pounds holding them down.

I was useless.

Please, someone help.

The sound of police sirens stopped the guy before he got the chance to take off my undergarments. As the sirens sounded closer, the guy stood up, buckling his pants before looking down at me sickly.

"To be continued, Oktober."

Then he ran away, disappearing into the darkness behind the alley.

The police car I heard flew by the alley, obviously not being called for me, not that anyone was around.

I took a moment to thank whatever goodness saved me from something I wouldn't of been able to survive again, for preventing a travesty.

I pulled my shirt back down and my pants up, holding onto the brick walls for support as I stumbled out of the alleyway. Tears clouded my vision the whole way home and my phone was dead, just as useless as myself.

I walked into my empty house, locking the door behind me and all of the windows, even the back door, the disgusting excuse of a human's voice echoing in my pounding head.

"To be continued, Oktober ."

I shakily walked up the stairs, walking into my room and straight into my bathroom, turning the shower on.

I quickly undressed myself, looking at my damaged body in the mirror. Deep bruises formed on my shoulders and arms in the shape of fingers, making me feel even more disgusted.

If it was even possible.

I sat numbly in the shower, scratching away at the marks of him, trying to get him off of me, letting out a scream through my sobs.

I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, I wouldn't wish that at all.

I was unbelievably grateful that it didn't get as far as it could have, but I still didn't feel any less disgusted with myself. What I was feeling was a hundred times worse than the last time because it almost happened to me, again.

It was my lowest point.

After all the tears, there was nothing left. I had no voice, I had no strength, I couldn't feel anything.

I barely had a heartbeat.

***

A/N: If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, please know that there are people out there that care and can help!

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

RAINN is also an organization that helps people who have suffered from sexual assault.

Know you are NOT alone

Thank you for reading, I appreciate you all.

-MT