from the beginning (COMPLETED)

chapter 59: husbands again

Josh giggled and rolled his eyes, poking Tyler's belly and giggling. "Baby we gotta kiss more first. Theeeeen I'll get naked."

Tyler giggled, biting his bottom lip as he laughed.

That's when he realized something.

Gus did the exact same thing when he was giggling.

Which made Josh giggle too.

"You and Gus Gus are just like twins," he said, kissing all over Tyler's face.

"Well you and Ellie are basically the same person," Tyler giggled, poking Josh's tummy.

"And Ruby's just like you too," they both said in unison, giggling.

And at that moment, they forgot about everything.

Except for each other.

Josh stared down into Tyler's eyes and Tyler looked back up at him.

"Oh, Ty... How could I have ever done that to you?" Josh whispered, holding himself up with one arm and using the other hand to cup Tyler's cheek. "Someone who's so sweet and kind and gave me nothing but their everything..."

Tyler sighed and caressed Josh's cheeks with his thumbs. "Baby..."

"Don't act like it's ok, Tyler. How could I have done that to the one person I love? The one person that loved me? The most perfect boy in the world. My husband. My husband, Tyler. The one that I begged to take my last name. The one that didn't stop asking for permission to take my shirt off until our first anniversary. How could I have cheated on him?"

"Joshua, I'm going to be honest. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know what to do as a husband, as a father, as a fucking human. I. Don't. Know. Do I want to stay married to you? Is that healthy for me? Are you going to do it again? Are you just wanting to get back together so you don't have to feel as guilty when we have sex? Do I want my kids to grow up with two parents but know one as a cheater? Or do I want my kids to grow up with one parent that didn't do anything to physically or emotionally harm the other? When do I stop putting others first and take care of myself for once?" he said, both of them tearing up. "Just know that there's a reason I didn't sign those divorce papers, Joshua."

Josh sniffled and nodded, pressing his forehead against his boyfriend's and closing his eyes. "I love you, Tyler. And you have no idea how horribly I want to be able to see you in a wedding ring again. How terribly I want to wake up with you in my arms like we did for so many years before. What all I'd do to be able to take back what I did. I'd never have sex again if it meant I had the privilege of being allowed to call you my husband again. What all I'd give to have the kids I adopted with you to call me their father again. I promise you, Tyler, I will never hurt you or the kids ever again. And if I do, I won't but if I do, you have my permission right now to put a bullet through my head." He opened his eyes and gently ran his hands up and down Tyler's sides.

They were both fully crying now, just holding each other and soaking up the warmth of the each other that they missed so dearly over their time apart.

"I love you, Joshua. And I'd love to call you my husband again," Tyler said, looking into Josh's eyes.

Josh's eyes widened. "Y-you what?"

"I'm asking your permission to call you my husband again. And to sleep in the same bed as you. And to wear my wedding ring and make love with you and take your shirt off without asking. And to act like an actual couple, Joshua."

Josh was sobbing, holding Tyler close. "It should be the other way around, baby. I should be the one asking."

"But that doesn't matter, Joshua. What matters is that one of us is asking, doesn't it?"

Josh smiled widely and hugged Tyler closely. "Yes. Yes, baby. Yes. Yes to everything."

Tyler smiled, sniffling and hugging Josh tightly.

"Let me go get the rings," Josh said with a smile, pressing a long kiss against Tyler's lips before retrieving the pieces of jewelry that symbolized their love for one another.

Josh returned, handing the one that Tyler had given him to Ty, and holding the one for Tyler in his own.

"We should say our vows again," Tyler said with a smile.

Josh quickly nodded, taking both of Tyler's hands and looking into his eyes. "Tyler, I love you. No matter how many times I say it, it isn't enough. I can't wait to be able to call you my husband and sleep without clothes on with you just because you think it's one of the sweetest things a couple can do. I can't wait to take you out on a date to the drive-in so we can just end up making out and snuggling in the back seat. I can't wait to have my family back officially. I can't wait to just lay in bed with you holding your hand and talking about how lucky I am to have you. The list goes on and on, Tyler. And I can't wait to put this ring on your finger again so I'll shut up and let you do the talking," he said, giggling through his tears.

Tyler laughed and sniffled, squeezing Josh's hands. "Joshua, you're the sweetest person in the world. Tied with the kids, of course. But I promise you that I do forgive you for what you did, even though it hurt me terribly. And I only ask a few things of you. Please realize that I forgive you, ok? If I didn't I wouldn't be doing this right now. Please, please tell me if you ever need anything so we can prevent this kind of thing from ever happening again, alright? And please, know that I'm madly in love with you," he said, looking up at Josh and sliding the ring onto his finger.

Josh did the same, sliding the ring onto Tyler's finger.

"We should kiss now, husband," Tyler said giggling.

Josh blushed and grinned. "My husband's the cutest..."

They both leaned forward, pressing their lips against one another, both sniffling but with wide smiles.

They pulled back, their foreheads pressed together with their arms wrapped around each other.

"I love you, husband," Josh whispered.

"I love you too, husband," Tyler whispered back.

"Does this mean you're gonna sleep in here tonight?" Josh asked hopefully.

Tyler grinned and nodded. "I'm not leaving this room tonight, baby."

Josh grinned and nodded happily.

"Can we get naked now? It always makes me feel closer to you," Tyler said shyly.

Josh smiled and blushed, nodding his head.

So they both got naked.

"awww, baby. you didn't tell me you got a new tattoo!" josh said, pointing to his husband's bicep.

"oh, yeah," he said and giggled. "well i did, baby."

they got under the blankets, both honestly just kind of staring at each other's bodies, desperately wishing they were closer.

eventually josh moved closer to him, pressing their chests together.

it wasn't sexual.

it was loving.

tyler ran his fingers through josh's hair, pressing kisses against his nose and whispering sweet things to his husband.

josh had an arm around tyler's bare waist, gently running his hand up and down his back since he knew it always calmed ty.

"hey joshua?"

"yes, baby?"

"thanks for being my husband," tyler said with a smile, kissing josh's lips.

"thanks for being my everything."