Voltron One Shots

Lance's Depression

⚠️Based on a true story for the most part! (Not all One Shots are X Readers)⚠️

"Tell me Lance when did you start feeling this way?"

"Feeling like what? I felt a lot of things."

"What drove you towards your depression?"

"I don't know. Maybe when my parents divorced. I was young. Maybe it wasn't really having a father figure around for a while until my mom remarried, or that my dad had a hard time balancing work with time with me? I'm not sure."

"I want you to try and remember the first time you actually felt deep sorrow."

"Okay, I guess it was maybe in... seventh grade? I fell hard for one of my best friends, we ended up together for about seventy two hours. Then they kind of broke up with me after my mom found out I thought I was bisexual."

"I don't understand, try to explain it really detailed."

"I was in love with him- had been in love with him for a long time. Then not too long after we called it off he's on the arm of out other friend, and I'm jealous as fuck. They were so happy."

"So a bit of romance and heart break drove you over the edge?"

"No. That was the start. It went on all summer. They were together and send pics of themselves. It made me mad, and sad. Everyone had someone, all my other friends hooked up with other people. It left me alone. The fifth wheel I guess. Then eighth grade came around. I was hoping life would be better, but he'll just kept coming."

"Tell me more."

"School was a drag. I tried French and it was okay, not exactly my cup of tea, but the teacher was nice, and I couldn't stop liking this boy. The same boy as before, until one day I just woke up and couldn't... feel? I couldn't feel affection like that to anyone."

"You lost all feeling to a possible significant other?"

"Yeah. I tried to fill up that empty feeling with activities. Played football, and joined swim. During my third week of swim my mom told me I wasn't allowed to see my dad. He'd done something bad. I never figur d out what, neither of them told me. That's kind of what made me snap."

"So your lack of father figure, then the little you had from your biological father disappeared?"

"Something like that. Yeah."

"What did that feel like?"

"You know how when you're swimming, and you go under. You can't breathe. You sometimes stay down so long it makes you head spin, and when you surface sometime you feel like you're floating?"

"Yes."

"I feel like I'm floating over an endless ocean of problems. See where as when you're swimming you can actually get out whenever you want, but my pool runs in every direction for an eternity. There's no way to get out. There are little shallow parts to my pool, where the problems don't run as thick, but they don't stop."

"So you connected you depression to swimming, how did that make you feel about swim team?"

"I quit. I stayed home and tried to put on a brave face for my mom, but... your porcelain mask can only last so long before it falls and cracks."

"How would you describe yourself as a whole?"

"I'm not a whole. I'm like an antique vase, fallen over and shattered to pieces. You can glue the piece's back together, like a puzzle, but the faze can never be as beautiful again. Or you can throw it away, and pretend that it had never existed."

"Which vase are you?"

"That should be pretty easy for you to figure out since I'm sitting here talking to you."

"Your parents are trying to glue you back together."

"Yeah, but you can't let the light shine in without cracks on the surface. So I assume this is working for the better?"

"You have a far way to go Mr. McClain if you want to be whole again."

"Who said I wanted to be whole? I'm fine as a broken artifact, never to be discovered, never to be found sitting in the hidden colosseum, under Rome."

"You seem like a man of words."

"I may be a man of words, but that doesn't stop me from wading through my thick ocean of pain. Being a man of words means nothing to me. I could take any career and hope it gets me killed."

"Well, we can talk about that next time you come."

"What if I don't come back?"

"What are you saying?"

"Who cares if I love or not? No one cared to begin with, why pretend to care when I could just end the annoyance now?"

"Mr. McClain. I believe that is highly unnecessary to say."

"I speak the truth, and only the truth. I made that vow the minute I walked through this door to see you. Now are you going to let this light blink out, or are you going to give me some damn results?"

"We'll see how it goes."

"How it goes, the river of tears run down my face behind a mask of calm you cannot see past. I build up unbreakable walls, and you try to tear them down with your hands. Your secessions mean nothing to me. Find someone worth saving."

"Everyone is worth saving. You're not determined by your past, but by how you react to it. You're letting it control your life."

"I'm letting my mind flow freely. I'm not letting anything control me. I'm letting it consume me, and once you've been consumed you're impossible to save."

"There's no such thing as impossible."

"Better start believing it. I'm a mess inside out and no matter what you say noting is going to change that."

"If that's what you want yourself to believe. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Mrs. Holt."

Lance exited the room and Mrs. Holt pulled out her phone to call her daughter.

"Mom?"

"Your friend has gone over the edge."

"I know..."

"I've tried everything. I think it's time to let him get what he wants."