With Me

•28•

It's the flight back hone today. Wonshik and I haven't spoken since yesterday.

I haven't had the guts to face him. He seemed really upset by what I said.

I don't know why he is so surprised that I figured it out. Does he think I'm stupid?

We are waiting in the airport to board our plane. Wonshik is seated next to me.

We made sure to be seated next to each other on the way back, that was when we were dating.

It's going to be a very long flight. If I'm lucky we still won't speak a word between each other.

If I'm lucky.

I just fiddle with my passport as I sit next to Hani. She is rapidly texting someone as she has a conversation with me.

I'm not paying much attention to the words which she speaks. I can't stop thinking of how hurt Wonshik looked when I said those things yesterday.

He genuinely looked hurt. You can't fake a look like that.

That was genuine. Did I say something wrong? Did I misunderstand?

Of course I didn't. It's impossible for a bully to fall for his victim. Only someone who was lonely would do that.

I was the idiot for falling for it for as long as I did.

But the thing that upsets me most is, I thought he genuinely cared about me.

The past 5 months were amazing. We managed to go out, just the two of us.

He always cheered me up when I was homesick and I would do the same.

I was actually happy.

Suddenly they announce that its time for us to board and I frown.

Wonshik boards before me, he booked the window seat.

I board the plane and look at Wonshik as I arrive at my seat beside him.

He looks at me briefly before looking back at his phone. He has his earphones in already.

I sit down and do up the seatbelt before pulling out my own earphones.

I can only hope that the flight will be quicker then it's meant to be.

I don't know how long I can stand sitting next to Wonshik under these awkward circumstances.

The plane takes off and I do my best to keep myself distracted and keep my gaze from Wonshik.

I would talk to Hani but she is seated but about five rows ahead of us. I don't think the other passengers would appreciate it if I just screamed down the isle to her.

About an hour into the flight, I feel someone lightly tap my thigh.

I jump, startled as I look at Wonshik who is out of his seat.

"I need to pee" he mutters.

"Oh, sorry" I hurry to move to the side so he can squish past me.

His legs brush mine as he passes me and I have to clamp my lips together to stop myself from gasping.

He gets to the isle and swiftly walks to the bathroom. I try to distract myself again so I don't look like I'm waiting for his return.

He returns quicker than I anticipated. He squeezes back into his seat and I must show what I'm thinking on my face as he says,
"I did wash my hands. It's okay."

"Good" I turn my phone on again and try to stop him from talking to me again.

It doesn't work.

"Jaehwan, we need to talk" he speaks softly. I pull my earphones out and look him in the eye.

"What is there to talk about?" I ask him and his slight smile fades.

"Us."

"You don't love me" I assure him and look away again. I try to not tense as he places his hand on my thigh.

"I do love you Jaehwan. You freaked out yesterday. Everything you said was wrong. Yes I was lonely but I would never hit on someone just because I was lonely. I'm not that kind of person."

"Everything you've ever said to me states otherwise" I am not falling for his crap again.

"Why won't you believe me? Is it impossible for me to love you? Is it impossible for me to care about you?"

"It's kinda hard to believe when you have been the main cause for my suffering."

He removes his hand and my leg immediately feels cold.

"What do you want me to do?" he mumbles. "What can I fucking do to convince you that I'm not using you?"

That tone, I've only ever heard him use it when he is on the phone to his sister.

That tone is one filled with sincerity. But it's a false hope. It has to be.

"You can't do anything."

A/N - exams are over and I am back to updating like usual! i hope you enjoyed this update!!

what do you think about the first part of the flight? is jaehwan going to continue to deny wonshik?

thanks for reading!!