Quinn Fabray: My Story

Chapter 22 - The Turnaround

The next week didn't start off the greatest in that Jesse decided to quit New Directions 2 weeks before sectionals were supposed to happen. He performed with Vocal Adrenaline 'Another One Bites The Dust' to try and intimidate us. Truth be told, it was working. I think we all were worried about what lay ahead at Sectionals especially since we lost Jesse who was one of our biggest assets.

We arrived back to the choir room to see it all TPed. "I feel so violated. It's like someone broke into our home," Tina frowned as we were cleaning up the toilet paper. "Look, it was just a lame little prank. The fact that they're trying to get to us means maybe we got 'em spooked," Mr. Schue said. "Uh-uh Mr Schue. They aren't afraid of anything. That number they did was fantastic. Which doesn't make any sense. They had all that equipment. How did they even get in?" Mercedes asked. "I gave 'em all keys. Helped 'em do a soundcheck over the weekend. Hey, this way fellas. Let's punch out this wall here, open up the space a little bit," Coach Sylvester said.

"Sue, what are you doing?" Mr. Schue asked, not pleased. "I can't talk now William. Drafting class is helping me redecorate around here. You see, I have nationals over the weekend and expect to return with a comically large first-place trophy for which I have absolutely no room in my trophy case. As soon as you hurry up and lose at regionals, this choir room will become my official trophy annex. You know what, it has to look like Elvis's gold record room at Graceland. Except I'll be wanting far fewer morbidly obese white women waddling around and crying", Coach Sylvester said. "Sue, get out of my room," Mr. Schue said, walking towards her. "Glee Clubbers, for those of you whose hearing has not been damaged by massive doses of Accutane, listen up. In a few weeks, Glee Club will be finished. Now how do I know that? I recently checked the odds with my Vegas bookie who told me that you're going to lose and your dreams will be crushed," Coach Sylvester said.

"Sue, can I see your trophy?" Mr. Schue asked. "Sure Will. Hope and dream," Coach Sylvester said, handing Mr. Schue her trophy. He then threw her trophy. "You dropped your trophy Sue," Mr. Schue said. "You know, for me trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of 'em, but they just keep comin'. You know why? Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of burning, itchy, highly contagious talent. Enjoy your last few days here. This room is mine," Coach Sylvester smirked as she left the choir room.

"Alright, guys, today I want to talk to you about regrets. Who has some?" Mr. Schuester said as he began Glee Club. "Giving my heart to Jesse, just to have it crushed like the stage floor at Stomp," Rachel frowned. "Thinking "Trust me" was a sensible birth control option," I said. "We all have them. I just finalized my divorce. I regret living in a relationship that wasn't working letting her put me in these deep funks and not fighting back," Mr. Schue said. "Besides creeping us out, why are you telling us this?" Santana asked "Because if we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at regionals, none of us are gonna regret it. We will have given it our best shot and we won't look back. But we will regret letting them get the best of us before the competition which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us," Mr. Schuester said.

"So you want us to T.P. Their choir room?" I asked confused, not exactly getting the point of what Mr. Schue wanted us to do. "Whatever the better, cooler version of that is, like, uh maybe maybe we should steal their school statue," Mr. Schuester said. "Their school statue is a giant bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup. It weighs three tons," Kurt said. Mr. Schue tried to suggest a few more things but none of us thought any of the ideas were going to help us beat Vocal Adrenaline. The bell rang as we headed off to class feeling in a deeper Funk than before.

The next day Mr. Schue seemed in higher spirits as he wrote the word 'Funk' on the board. He asked us to use it in a sentence which of course Berry was the first one to reply saying "This cheese smells funky". "What if I told you I knew how we could shove it right back down their throats? New Directions is about to make their funk the P-Funk. We are gonna get funked up. The only way to do that is to beat them at regionals. Vocal Adrenaline has never once done a funk number. They're a machine, a collective, synthesized, soulless beat. Funk is soul meets anger. Its passion is in its emotion. And Vocal Adrenaline doesn't perform with any. So you have your assignment. I want you guys to turn McKinley High into," Mr. Schue said as he sang "Funkytown." we all smiled and grinned as we chattered amongst ourselves.