Quinn Fabray: My Story

Chapter 45 - Redefined

Author's Note: We've made it to season 3 and I could not be more excited. This chapter is a much shorter update but I hope you enjoy :)

I could not have been more grateful for my junior year to end. After the rollercoaster ride I had endured throughout that year I was ready to have a summer to find myself. I had been ignoring everyone's messages from Glee Club. I didn't even want to think about any of them. Truth be told I did miss them throughout the break but I knew I had to make a change to myself.

It all started when I bought some Pink hair dye. Losing Beth had hurt me and I tried being Miss Perfect and look where it had gotten me. Alone. No guy, no one in my life who truly cared about what I needed. I was through being that version of myself. I decided to go shopping, get some clothes that truly fit the new punk style I was going for. Almost all my clothes were black now. It felt like a new and improved version of me.

I also gained a new group of friends. We called ourselves the Skanks. I got into smoking, I got a nose ring. When I returned back to school I wasn't going to be the Little Miss Perfect everyone was expecting to return. I was a new woman ready to take on whatever came my way.

I arrived back at school a day late. I intentionally missed the first day. I wanted to add some mystery to what was going on with me. No one had heard from me and no one was going to. Not until I decided it was time for my grand entrance. I walked down the halls confidently as most of the Glee Club looked at me, surprised by my sudden change of appearance.

"Quinn what the hell?" Puck said as he stopped me in the hall. "Hello to you too," I snarked back at him. "What happened to you?" he asked. "Easy. I got tired of being Little Miss Perfect. The only way I'd get any attention around here is if I changed my image. Besides aren't you the one who was into bad girls?" I smirked as I lit my cigarette. "Is this about me and Lauren?" Puck asked as I shrugged "If it is that's over." "Good for you," I said not giving a care in the world. "Everyone was so worried about you and now you show up like this?" Puck said shaking his head. "I've moved on. I suggest you do too. Unless you want to join me," I smirked as Puck gave me a look. "This isn't you," he said. "It's the new me," I corrected as I walked off.

I walked over to where Santana and Brittany were practicing for Cheerios. They had wanted to speak with me so I told them I would meet them outside. "You wanted to talk with me," I said. "Quinn, look, this is our Senior year and frankly, being on the Cheerios isn't the same without you," Santana frowned. "You guys are such suckers for going back to Coach Sylvester," I smirked. "Come on, screw her. This is for us. We could win two nationals championships this year. We joined the Cheerios together, we joined Glee Club together. We all slept with Puckerman the same year," Santana said. "Mhmm," Brittany said as she nodded. "We're like besties for life," Santana said. "Yeah, Come on, Quinn. You know, we used to be like the Three Musketeers. And now Santana and I are like Almond Joy and you are like a Jolly Rancher that fell in the ashtray," Brittany said. "You guys never understood the pressure I was under. It sucked. I'm not interested in the boys or the makeup or the polyester outfits," said coolly.

"Look, I've got a bar of soap and a bottle of peroxide with your name on it in my locker," Santana told me as I chuckled "Come on, Quinn, you can't break up the Unholy Trinity." "People grow apart. Deal with it. I've got new friends now, and they accept me for who I am," I said walking off. I could feel the disappointment Brittany and Santana felt as I left. At that point I didn't care. I had lost everything. Trying to rewrite history wasn't going to change anything. I learned that last year.

I was hanging out underneath the bleachers with the Skanks when I was approached by Rachel as they were lighting my cigarette. "Hey Quinn. Hello, Skanks," Rachel said. "Your friend stinks of soap, Quinn," Ronnie said annoyed as I looked at Rachel. We were friends once. Okay, maybe when you cut off all your hair last year and thought it would solve all your problems I should've spoken up," Rachel said emotionally as I looked at her.

"Maybe I should've seen the signs at Nationals last year but I was so wrapped up in what was going on between me and Finn that I - " Rachel began as I cut her off not wanting to hear anything about her and Finn. "I'm not coming back to Glee Club," I shot annoyed. We need you, okay? Have you seen those purple pianos around school? We're planning this big, you know, recruiting number and it's going to be a tribute to the Go-Go's. I mean, who doesn't love the Go-Go's?" Rachel said. "I prefer the Bangles," Sheila said. "Okay. We need your tremulous alto and your Belinda Carlisle glamour," Rachel frowned. "I'll give you ten bucks if you let me beat her up for you, Quinn," The Mac smirked. I gave her a look to say that wouldn't be necessary.

"I'm sorry you're so sad, Quinn. And maybe you're not gonna believe me because we were never really close, but, I'm sad not seeing you in the choir room and we've all been through so much together. We're a family and this is our year to get it right. We would love to have you back in the Glee Club, whenever you're ready. Okay?" Rachel told me seriously as she walked off. Damn my feelings for her. They hadn't gone away since I had quit Glee Club. If anything they had grown stronger. Now she and Finn were an item. Having to deal with that alone kept me out of Glee Club. I knew Rachel was right in what she was saying but I just couldn't figure out how to move on from everything that hurt me so badly last year. Becoming someone else sometimes felt like the only way.

The New Directions had been performing all over the school singing "We Got The Beat" at lunch which had ended in a food fight. Luckily I had avoided that by going out to lunch. It was then I had found out that Blaine had transferred to McKinley. I was happy for Kurt. At least he and his boyfriend would have each other. I had also found out that like me, Sam was no longer in Glee Club. His family didn't have the money to keep him in any sort of a club so he was just another member of our school. I didn't see him around much due to the fact that he was a junior and I was a senior. The only class we had ever had in common was Glee Club. Besides that I had been skipping out on most of my classes.

That afternoon the Glee Club performed in the auditorium as they had done every afternoon. I couldn't help but sneak up to the hiding spot where Coach Sylvester, Santana, and I had first found out that Finn was in the Glee Club when we were spying two years ago. I watched everyone perform longingly. Truth was I had missed being in Glee Club. Seeing them performing 'You Can't Stop the Beat' and how happy they were onstage performing it reminded me of all the good times I had in Glee Club. 'You can't go back to that....as much as you want to going back to Glee Club would be trying to change the past. It's better to have everyone afraid of you than to be another Glee Loser,' I told myself trying to convince myself that I had made the right call. The truth was, I wasn't so sure.