Without You || BTS Jungkook [COMPLETED]

Chapter 13 - I Didn't

"I can't do it," I say hugging my knees to my chest. I can feel the rage burning in his eyes.

"There's someone else, isn't there?" He asks. My silence must be good enough answer as he continues to believe his statement.
"Why Ai-yeon? Why would you do this to me? I love you Ai-yeon." I look up to see the tears which are streaming down his cheeks.

"Tae," I say reaching out for him. He turns his back to me. "Tae please." I can feel tears building up in my eyes. I want to say I love him too, but I can't. Whether it's will power or because I'm scared, something is stopping me.

"If you stopped loving me," he cries. "Why didn't you tell me?" I freeze, my hand hovering over his back, my eyes dripping creating puddles on my exposed knees.

"It's not like that Tae," I try to tell him. It's not that I don't love Tae, it's that I don't know what my emotions are telling me at all.

"It's not?" He questions. He turns around to see me crying and immediately hugs me. "I'm sorry." I nod my head and sniff in his arms.
"But then why won't you?" He asks. A sensitive question.

"Because I'm scared," I tell him. "I'm just not ready yet."

Well that's a lie, isn't it? You were fine with Jungkook but now it's your own boyfriend you can't. You're such a slut.

The voice of all my negative thoughts is appearing louder and clearer than ever before. It usually whispers to me but today it's more of a yell.

"I don't want to hurt him," I cry out. I feel Tae looking straight at me into my closely shut eyes.

What? Taehyung or Jungkook?

"I don't know okay," I scream. "Leave me alone." I feel myself getting shaken. I open my eyes. Tae is staring at me with so much concern. I wipe the tears off of my cheeks and smile.
"I'm okay," I say even though I'm far from it. My feelings, emotions and mentality are all jumbled up. Instead of saying anything Tae hugs me. I sniff and smile.

We sit awkwardly hugging in silence neither of us wearing any more than our underwear for nearly five minutes, before Tae releases me and grabs my bra from the floor. I turn around and face the wall whilst he puts it back on for me. Once he is finished we lay down and begin to drift off into our own little worlds.

***

I wake up the next morning shivering. My clothes are strewn across the floor. I lean over to pick up my top which I next to me. I am captured by the strong arms of Tae. I smile and turn around to see him smiling back at me. He kisses my lips then let's me go.

"Good morning," he smiles. I smile back and tuck my head into his neck to tickle him. He laughs and pulls back. I slide my top over my head. I look around to see if I can find my tights anywhere. They are right across the other side of the room. I grab a blanket and wrap it round my waist, because in the bright light of the morning, the appeal of walking around in my underwear just wasn't there.

I make my way over and pick them up, however I also drop the blanket. I start fumbling with both of the two chucking them hand to hand to try and hold both. Eventually, after masses of struggle, both drop the fall around my feet. I look over at the bed where Tae is topless and laughing his head off. I scowl at him and pick up my tights. I yank them up my legs then grab my skirt and pull that up too. 

"That's an entertaining way to get dressed," Tae mocks.

"It wasn't deliberate," I hiss.

I see the time, it's 7:15am, I have to be at home in half an hour. I look in the mirror to my makeup sprawled everywhere.