Onism || Oh Sehun

Chapter 33: Fix Me

What a mess...

A lone girl stared blankly up at the ceiling, feeling emotionally and physically weak. Even as she lies awake, she already felt lifeless on the bed. Her eyes were sore from all the crying she done.

Every time she remembers back, her heart hurts...

She remembers...

Waking up from a terrifying darkness, her lungs in pain and water sputtering out her lips. She was soaked from head to toe and she was gasping for breaths of air.

Mira was absolutely confused at that very moment, seeing both a dripping wet Sehun and a bawling Isabelle before her in the indoor pool room. They both looked frantic and relieved at the same time. And before she could process anything, Sehun had engulfed her into his arms. His embrace was tight and with her head on his chest, she could feel his erratically beating heart.

She knew she should feel assured at that moment, being safe in Sehun's arms. However, a terror struck at her heart, because now she was self aware now. Finally, that triggering moment finally had her remembering everything. And she cried, the tears coming out at an instant. Her hands grasped tightly at Sehun's shirt as she buried her head, letting the emotions flow out.

The girl was scared.

She was so suddenly scared of who she was and how she allowed this to happen.

She knew she was losing control of her own life.

After that moment in the pool room, Sehun had draped her shoulders with his dry sweater and helped support her to her room, along with Isabelle.

With proper care and a change to dry, warm clothes, Mirasol fell straight to sleep.

She then woke up realizing that the ship have finally reached the island they were supposed to make it to.

No one possibly didn't want to wake her up, more so after such a predicament yesterday.

How long did she sleep?

Mirasol wasn't sure, and she didn't have the energy to check.

She wanted to cry again but her eyes have run out of tears.

"Jovelyn, stop this, okay?"

There was a silence. Of course, whenever she tries to call out for her, she never appears. Whenever she has the questions or whatever, Jovelyn never appears.

It makes Mirasol laugh solemnly to herself. Was this the plan all along? Only to appear when it's relevant for her and to her advantage.

She stared down at her own fingers.

Jovelyn's?

No, mine.

Her own body doesn't feel right. She doesn't feel like she could control it... no, she knows she couldn't fully control it.

She had made Jovelyn strong enough to be able to lead her personal life.

A sigh left Mirasol's lips. But, so have I?

She may have forgotten for that year and a half what's the reality of her dilemma, but her body and mind always knew. Those nightmares... it was supposed to remind her of who she was. The ugly her, but the real her. It terrified her, and a majority of herself wanted to run away from those disturbing images and thoughts. But in the end, she knew herself better than that. She couldn't avoid it.

She had made decisions without much thought that benefited her.

Made her alive.

Her fingers ran through her mess of dark hair. She wanted to pull at every single strand, tear at her own skin.