Satisfied (Oikawa Tooru x Reader) Haikyuu!

Ten: Hurt

You widened your eyes in shock. Feeling the tears falling down your cheeks, you quickly hid your face in your shaking hands. You remained silent, trying to get control over the sobs bottling up inside you.

"[Name]...", Oikawa's voice turned into a whisper.

You couldn't see it, but his expression was slowly getting filled with anxiety, and it wasn't hard to guess that he was cursing himself for going this far once again. He clenched his fists and furrowed his eyebrows, locking his eyes on your fragile, trembling figure lying in front of him.

He hurt you. His actions hurt you and he couldn't forgive himself for this. He hated seeing you in such a miserable state, it made his heart break. He still wasn't used to seeing you sad this often, and, what was the most horrible, he knew it was all because of him, and yet he didn't stop himself.

"I'm sorry", he said with a breaking voice and embraced you, helping you sit up.

You raised your head to see his apologising look locked on you. You wanted to say something but you knew that if you let out a word, you would start crying again. You just stared at the nervous boy, feeling your heart clench at his beautiful, hazelnut eyes, and his messy, chocolate hair. You wanted to have them for yourself so much, yet the only thing you had was the illusion of having them.

Once again, you felt a great wave of sorrow overflowing your body. Rapidly, you jumped from the bed and grabbed your bag lying on the floor by the table. Your vision was still blurred by the tears, but you somehow managed to get hold of the handle.

"I'm sorry", you mumbled under your breath while rushing out of Oikawa's room, not minding to turn your head to him.

It would only make you want to cry more.

While you disappeared by the door, Oikawa was still sitting on his bed, processing what had just happened.

He kissed you and you seemed alright at first. But suddenly, you started crying, with this painful expression stuck to your face. He could guess it was his fault, but what exactly made you break down in a split of second?

He looked up, and only now did he fully realise that you left his room.

He quickly stood up and runned downstairs to catch you in the hall. You couldn't leave like this, without a word. And he promised to accompany you to the station.

He reached the entrance door, panting. He wanted to explain everything, to make you smile once again with your bright, honest smile which seemed to had disappeared with the moment of his rejection. He wanted to make you happy, even though he couldn't requit your feelings.

But it was too late.

You had already gone.

You were running towards the station, as if you were being hustled by some outer force. You weren't looking at the road, but you knew the way to the station well enough to reach it without a bigger problem. The only thing that was going through your head now was the image of Oikawa kneeling above you with a slight blush on his face.

You grasped your chest as if you were trying to get hold of your clenching in pain heart.

Nothing horrible happened, calm down, you were repeating yourself.

You knew the reason of your surprising reaction. It was just, or as much as, the fact that the closer to Oikawa you were, the more conscious of his lack of feeling you were. He could kiss you, he could touch you, he could use you in any way he wanted to, and that wouldn't be enough for you. It would only be enough if his actions had a meaning.

If he liked you the same way you liked him.

You didn't even notice when you arrived at the station. The platform was empty and quiet. All you could hear was the loud whamming of your heart. Deprived of energy, you couldn't help but fall on your knees in the middle of the station.

But you didn't care. There was no one watching you. You finally didn't have to pretend to be okay. Because you certainly weren't. Your heart was split open, your eyes swollen from lack of sleep, your stomach hurt from nerves, your whole body was shaking.

And it was all because of a one guy, on whom you couldn't give up.

Suddenly, you widened your eyes as a new thought came to your mind.

What if... What if your reaction would make Oikawa break the agreement?

The longer you thought about it, the more probable it was getting. He was probably cursing himself for driving you to such a state. For sure he thought it was all his fault. And you knew he didn't want to hurt you. So he would probably want to break the agreement to make you happier.

You were his important friend, after all.

But there was just one small thing.

You didn't want to end it.