Satisfied (Oikawa Tooru x Reader) Haikyuu!

Thirty Four: Explain

Even though there was still much time left for the morning practice to start, you were already passing through the school's entrance gates, heading towards the girl's changing room. It so happened that you had a weak sleep last night and woke up too early, but instead of going back to sleep, you decided to use this as an opportunity for making the gymnasium ready for the practice before anyone would come. Due to your problems with Oikawa, you slightly neglected your manager's duties and you wanted to somehow repay the team for skipping the practices lately.

You turned round the corner and gulped, feeling progressively more anxious the closer you were getting to the gymnasium. You have managed to ignore this feeling until now, but the awareness of the fact that you would soon have to see Oikawa was too disturbing not to notice it.

You shouted at him quite soundly yesterday even though you knew you shouldn't have done it. You had to apologise to him, no matter how much you were afraid of bursting into tears once again. But what exactly should you say? You decided to think about it during the practice.

That's what you thought but your plans were quickly ruined the moment you passed by the boy's changing room. You jumped up in surprise, hearing the sound of its door suddenly opening. You turned around only to see the tall, chocolate haired boy standing in them with equally surprised expression as yours. For a moment, you were standing opposite to each other in awkward silence. Finally, Oikawa spoke up.

"[Name]-chan", he coughed up. "I'm so-", you cut him off before he could finish.

"I'm sorry!", you exclaimed and bowed lightly.

Oikawa widened his eyes.

"For what?", he asked in confusion.

You straightened up and brought yourself to look into the boy's eyes.

"Yesterday", you started hesitantly, "I shouted at you and said things I didn't really mean to say. I'm sorry. I blamed you for my feelings even though it was me who suggested making this agreement".

Oikawa furrowed his eyebrows.

"It's not your fault!", he shot back. "You were completely right saying all of this...", his voice quietened. "Even though I knew how you felt, I couldn't control myself and hurt you. I'm sorry", his last words were really hued with guiltiness.

You looked down at the ground to hide the grimace which grew on your face. You were happy to hear Oikawa's apologies but at the same time they reminded you that you were in the lost position if it came to being with him.

"But you should know that what you heard lately when I was talking to Iwa-chan isn't true. I've never meant to treat you like an easy stress relief. And I've never got bored of you", Oikawa continued. "You are still very important to me. But I understand that you have every reason to hate me", his voice became grim.

You looked up at him, surprised.

"I don't hate you", you said and a spark of hope appeared in Oikawa's eyes.

"But you said-".

"I told you I didn't mean this. Maybe it would be easier for me to hate you, but I can't", you replied straightforwardly. "I still like you".

Oikawa felt his heart jump up at these words. A small wave of heat flew onto his cheeks and he quickly hid it with his fringe.

He really liked you. He was painfully aware of it. He wanted to make you smile once again, to be able to touch you and to be with you. And slowly, but surely, the argument about not being able to focus on volleyball was losing its power. Suddenly another thought popped in his mind.

Was it too late to tell you about this?