Satisfied (Oikawa Tooru x Reader) Haikyuu!

Thirty Two: Hatred

You somehow managed to make it through the morning practice without having to talk to Oikawa. After hearing his yesterday's words and bursting into tears right in front of him and Iwaizumi, you definitely weren't in the mood for pretending that nothing happened. To boot, you couldn't get rid of the guilty feeling you had because of rejecting Kageyama's confession. After all, you were in the exact same situation not long ago, so you knew better than anyone how the boy must have felt. That's why you could also understand his behaviour when he said that he wouldn't give up.

The last lesson of the day was coming to an end, but you've lost your sense of time a long time ago. For the whole lesson you were only thinking about how to behave around Oikawa and how would your relationship with Kageyama look like from now on.

You rested your head on the table as it suddenly seemed to get heavy from all these thoughts, which were actually pointless. They wouldn't change anything, but still, this was the only thing which was going through your mind right now.

You recalled Kageyama's flushed cheeks as he coughed up the words of confession - the very same words which you had managed to direct at Oikawa some time ago. Did you look the same as the black haired boy? Did Oikawa feel the same as you did?

Well, at least I'm not making out with other guys, you frowned as this thought crossed your mind.

Suddenly, you widened your eyes.

This feeling inside your chest - it was something more than jealousy. Was it perhaps anger? But why?

From the logical point of view, you couldn't blame Oikawa for what he had been doing with other girls. The fact that it hurt you was only your problem, because it was you who fell in love with him.

The same was with him breaking the agreement. You were fully aware of the fact that sooner or later he would break it. You were the one who suggested he would use you anytime he wanted. He had never promised to requite your feelings, so why did you feel like shouting everything out at him?

You sighed in surrender.

How could you understand Oikawa if even you didn't understand yourself?

The evening practice finished, even though you still felt on verge with this unusual emotion accompanying you. You wanted to leave the school as soon as possible to avoid being stopped by Iwaizumi or Oikawa.

You quickly changed back into the school uniform and locked the girl's changing room. After making sure that everything was on its place, you headed towards the exit gates, still deep in your thoughts.

Why couldn't you like Kageyama? He was also handsome and amazing at volleyball. So why?

Even though you were asking yourself these questions, the answer was always the same - because he wasn't Oikawa.

You were about to pass the exit gates when, suddenly, you bumped into someone.

"Sorry!", you exclaimed, rubbing your nose, but when you looked up, you froze.

In front of you was standing Oikawa with confused expression on his face. He also seemed to have just been woken up from his thoughts. For a moment the two of you were standing in awkward silence, not sure about what to say after yesterday's incident. Oikawa spoke up.

"[Name], I'm so-", he wanted to apologise, but you cut him off.

"Stop it", your voice was surprisingly cold. Even though your face was covered by your fringe, Oikawa could tell that it probably held a painful wince. He took a step back, suddenly feeling intimidated by your gloomy aura. "Stop apologising", you said, feeling this unusual emotion overflowing you. "Don't you see it makes me feel like I'm being rejected once again?", Oikawa widened his eyes as he heard your voice slowly breaking down. You looked up, tears flowing from you eyes. "You used me", you smiled awry. "And never really thought about how I feel. About how painful it was for me to keep up with you. And about how much I was scared that someday", your voice started shaking. "You'd say it's over".

"[Name], please-", Oikawa wanted to say something but you were quicker.

"You're such a jerk!", you exclaimed. "Playing with others' feelings! Dumbass, idiot! Pervert!", you cried. "I hate you!", with these words, you ran away, leaving Oikawa speechless.