s t r o n g | brendon urie

5

it didn't stop.

everyday i was fighting with brendon. till neither of us could take it anymore.

so i moved out early.

i didn't say goodbye to my parents. i went while they were sleeping and wrote a note

Dear family,

so the arguing keeps getting worse and i've decided that tbh your better off without me. so i've moved out earlier. i hope it makes you happy. i love you❤️

love from Lana xx

and i was off. our furniture had arrived and we'd set it up already. i packed all my things and carefully left. i didn't bother unpacking. i just fell asleep in the double bed, crying.

i awoke the next day to see ryan and my parents together. "really? i move away to stop the problem and you want more?" i muttered. "babe, it's okay. they're here to talk, that's it" ryan said approvingly. ugh.

"why'd you leave?" sarah asked sadly. "don't you guys see? i'm tearing this family apart. i keep starting stuff up. i can't stay in a place that has became a place full of yelling because of me"
"lana there's five people in our family and two of them don't speak english. look even i know i have a temper. and that's my fault. blaming yourself isn't going to do anything but hurt you" b said, sounding disheartened.

"look whatever it is i'm sure you guys can fix it" ryan said, comfortingly. i wasn't sure if i agreed. "lana, please. tell us what's wrong. whatever it is, it won't change the amount of love we have for you" sarah said softly. "i don't know" i whispered. and i genuinely didn't. i didn't know why i'd awake throwing up with my mother tying my hair back, i didn't know why i was happy one second and yelling the next. and i did not know why the fuck i enjoyed peanut butter so much now. i hate peanut butter.

"wait" ryan said, with fear. "c-could you guys give us a sec?" he asks my parents, shaking. "sure" they left the room. "babe, did we use protection?" he whispers. "i don't know, did you?" i ask. "i-i don't remember. could you be pregnant?" he mumbled. shit. was i?

"i'll get a test today" i said. "good ideal