lana is now 18 and has graduated and is ready to move on with her life and follow her dreams without stress, hate or her mental health getting in the way.
but with collage bullies, ryan's alcohol addiction, album stress, constant arguing with her pa...
the next day i told mariah and my friends who were so happy for me. kieran and matt have a kid called lucy and she's adorable. hayley and her boyfriend got engaged and megan recently got a boyfriend. mariah hadn't found anyone yet which had made her feel depressed and 'not good enough' which really hurt josh. he didn't want her to feel like that. but he didn't know what to do. i knew mariah would find someone eventually. or she's asexual ? no, don't assume sexuality lana!
i also told maddie and she was happy for me. her daughter tammy was now three. maddie had gotten married to her exes brother. he helped her throughout all her abuse, therapy, gave her accommodation, paid her medical bills...he treated her right. he wasn't anything like this asshole of a brother. the three of them lived a happy life together.
whenever i went to hang with mariah j never took ryan with me. he understood though. today i went to go and see her. i'm a month and three days pregnant. this is weird. my nausea had calmed down. my mood swings were everywhere and ive had a headache for the past few days. but i wanted to see mariah.
i got up and ready into this:
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i didn't bother with my make up. ryan was awake and had brought me up my food. "aww your so sweet" i smiled. "i thought you were still sleeping" he said shyly. "it means so much to me. it really does" i planted a kiss on his lip and he smiled nervously. ryan was a shy kid, no lie and he often did get nervous and scared. but hey, i love him.
after i ate and thanked him i headed out. he kept offering to take me but i kindly refused. it was only a ten minute drive. but anyway i headed there and knocked on the door. it opened to reveal josh. he looked really upset. "again?" i ask. he nodded. he looked so sad, it hurt.
"here" i shut the door and gave him a comforting hug. "i don't know what to do. she hasn't felt this bad in four years" he said. "hey. i'll try and talk to her or something. don't stress- wait that's a bad thing to say to someone with crippling anxiety. errr...your awesome and you did a good job so far. i'll take over" really lana? fuck you.
i headed upstairs and heard soft cries. i felt my heart break. i opened her door (i had a key) and saw her looking in the mirror sobbing. in lipstick she had written horrible things.
"mariah" i ran and hugged her. "hey, listen to me. you are good enough. you are everything a guy or girl would want. you will find someone. maybe not now. but i know you will. fuck, if i was a guy and not your cousin i'd date you! you are so beautiful and an amazing person" i whispered, holding her close. she had a little cry to herself while i cleaned her mirror down. josh walked in and saw what she had written. he looked so hurt. "you know you can talk to josh" i said to her softly. she didn't know he'd walked in. and that he heard her say "what if he gets sick of me?"
