lana is now 18 and has graduated and is ready to move on with her life and follow her dreams without stress, hate or her mental health getting in the way.
but with collage bullies, ryan's alcohol addiction, album stress, constant arguing with her pa...
me and ryan had been acting awkward around each other. and every night he'd come drunk. he'd sleep till late and wake up with a pounding headache. it's been happening for a few weeks now. i was now two months pregnant and stressed.
my european tour was cancelled. thank god we hasn't announced it yet. if we had and it got cancelled my supporters would be so disheartened. my team had been more supportive. however i decided to release some new exclusive merch and three singles instead of a tour. and i hosted a giveaway for all my international fans.
but ryan's drinking was frightening. sure it's only been a week but it was scaring me. i talked to my parents about it and they had suggested to me to ask him about rehabilitation if it got too much. talk to him and if it goes way beyond then take him there.
i woke up the next morning and got ready into this:
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i had some breakfast then made some for ryan and got some medicine. i came upstairs and he was awake, groaning. "how come i've seen this before? oh wait. it's every night" i said playfully, putting the tray on his lap.
"im sorry babe" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "haven't heard that one before" i say as i opened him a water bottle. "really. i am. i'll try and stop this. i will" he added. "you always say that but when will you actually stop?" i asked, hurtfully. "soon. i promise" he said, taking his medicine. "sick ryan is sexy ryan" i giggled. "oh you know it"
i went to the studio today. since i was releasing three songs as singles i had to write three more. and so far i only had one. the album needed ten fucking songs. i got writing and brendon even called me and helped me write two. seven to go.
the day went by slowly and horribly. i started throwing up again and despite my team telling me to go home i refused. "i have to get this- oh!" i threw up again. in the end they called ryan. but he didn't pick up. which scared me. after they phoned brendon and told him to come and get me.
"brendon im fine-" i grabbed the bin and let the sick out. "sure you are. c'mon it's home time" he helped me up and out of the studio. he drove me home and walked me in. the house smelled of alcohol. "really? do i deserve this!?" i exclaim, in a pissed tone.
i ran up to my room and opened the door to see ryan sitting in the middle of it, passed out. "found him!" there were bottles of alcohol everywhere. i sidled over to him. he was out cold. "lana, we need to get him to the hospital" brendon said gravely, knowing what had happened. i didn't know. i just bursted into tears.
they managed to get the alcohol out of his system. my pregnancy didn't help my mood at all. i sat there sobbing into brendon's arms. he was hurt by my agony but comforted me and and assured everything would be okay. and i really hoped so.
after i was told to go home and come back in the morning. so brendon took me to his house and let me spend the night. it felt so good to be home. i wanted to sleep in my old bed forever.
