Truth In Words ✓[Secrets Book 3]

[Chapter Five] Addie

                      Getting over a painful experience
                               is much like crossing the monkey bars.
                      You have to let go at some point
                               in order to move forward.

                                                      C.S. Lewis

Chapter Five – Addie

It hurt for him to walk away and it hurt for it to be over but it was something I had to accept. I could sit there and cry about it all night, begging him to come back and sit there and tell him how right he was but I wasn’t going to.

If he didn’t want to be in my life that was his decision, I couldn’t force him to be with me.

I had so many other things to worry about and Liam wasn’t at the top of that list. I spent the rest of the week getting to know my family and I adored them all. Kaitlin was the cutest thing ever and she knew it. They were all so kind to me and they never asked the questions I know they wanted to.

I told them about the trial, not what it was about just that there would be one. I couldn’t stand anyone else knowing about it, I didn’t want anyone to know the details of what happened to me but I didn’t really have a choice.

I was about to go through hell with them and I knew my parents were going to represent themselves but I haven’t heard anything other than that because I didn’t have a lawyer yet. I had to find one of those too.

I was about to have to tell a room of strangers, in detail, about how they beat and raped me, how he stalked me, found me, stabbed me. I would have to tell them how they taunted me and used me for their own sick amusement.

I was going to have to relive my nightmares and I was afraid I would end up throwing up when they asked. They weren’t going to make things easy on me and Than knew exactly how to get under my skin. They were going to try everything they could to discredit me but I guess lucky for me, Than went over all the scenarios and how he would get away with it, I could partially anticipate what he would say. I was going to have to see him again and that was the thing on my mind.

I may love Liam but compared to that, I’m not going to spend all my time pining after someone who doesn’t want me.

Kalila, Asher and I started college, me for the first time and this was the middle of Kalila’s second year, Asher was coming back for a couple classes that he wanted to take to farther his business degree.

I was debating between wanting to be a teacher and go for a business degree so I decided that I would take a couple of each and see where I wanted to be.

I was only going to for sure take these ones and then I would have to take time off to focus on the trial. I would be flying back and forth between here and Seattle since that’s the state I had to file in.

I’ve kind of been putting off finding a lawyer because I’m scared, as soon as I find one then we go over everything, I have to tell them everything, and then jury selection begins, and then soon it will go to trial and I’m not looking forward to that.

Auntie keeps telling me that the longer we wait the worse it’s going to be, if I wait too long I won’t have enough time to really go over things with him or her and then it makes it harder for them to help me.

I was taking twenty credits to start with, trying to throw myself into school work. I was taking a law class that specified on trial procedures and for once I was thankful for my parents forcing me to take law related classes because I had the prerequisites for this one, I decided to take business class and intro to education and advanced psychology.

“You’re crazy, those are all hard classes.” She said and I looked at her art classes on her schedule

“Yours look fun.” I commented

“I think you should take a music class instead of psychology.”

“It’s a little late to change.”

“No it’s not, you have the first week to change, I think it will be good for you. I’m taking one. Come on, just switch it, you need to have something to keep you sane and taking psychology so you can obsess over why they did it isn’t healthy for you.”

“What’s not healthy?” Asher came up and put an arm around me

“Taking psychology so she can obsess over why they did those things to her, she’s already taking a law class so she can do just that.”

“Oh come on Addie, she’s right. You can’t let them do this to you.” they were persistent and I found myself walking into a music class with her two days later.

This is a smaller college and I liked it, there weren’t so many people and it seemed people knew each other well here which made me feel a little safer.

“Mom wants you home after class so you guys can start looking into a lawyer.” She told me and I sighed

“I know, I’m just not sure I’m ready for that.”

“Addie you’re never going to be ready to face this but you have us with you and no matter when you’re going to be okay.” We spoke softly in class and I nodded.

“Thank you.” she’s been so supportive the last couple weeks, the awkwardness had started to pass and they were finally realizing that Liam and I were over and stopped pushing it and talking about it.

With classes starting I finally felt like I was doing something for myself and they were right to push me to drop Psychology, I didn’t need another class that encouraged me to obsess over it.

I don’t know why they did it and I probably never would, I just needed to accept that.