[Chapter Eighteen] Liam

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          Staring at the ceiling in the dark
                Same old empty feeling in your heart
          'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

         Well you see her when you fall asleep
             But never to touch and never to keep
                 'Cause you loved her too much
                       And you dived too deep

       Well you only need the light when it's burning low
             Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
           Only know you love her when you let her go

    Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
        Only hate the road when you're missin' home
            Only know you love her when you let her go
                                     And you let her go

                                 Passanger: Let Her Go

Chapter Eighteen – Liam

It broke my heart when she walked away and Asher came out and gave me a sympathetic look.

"Let's go for a drive." He said and we got in my truck and headed to my house and walked in the rain down to the lake.

"I'm going to ask, did you have sex with her last night?" Asher asked and I frowned in confusion

"My virginity is with me, as lame as that sounds." I told him

"Well your mom's freaking out."

"Of course she is." We sat in the wet grass

"Okay well the tell me what happened." He said to me and I did at the end of it he sighed

"She may just need time Liam."

"I know, it's just hard to accept that." I knew she deserved time

"If you love something set it free, if it comes back it was meant to be, you told me that when Tonya left and she didn't come back and I'm happy."

"Not the most encouraging thing to say." I frowned

"Addie isn't Tonya though. And if she doesn't come back then you'll both move on. I know you love her but you have to let her figure her life out after everything she's been through. Just take a step back and let her go for now."

"But doesn't that show I don't care because I just gave up?" he smiled and shook his head

"You're not giving up. You just need to give her some time and space, let her know that you'll be there for her when she's ready and if your feelings for her disappear let her know that too. Just let her be her."

"I know. She needs to be on her own to figure out who she is." I sighed, I knew that but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"For what it's worth, I think she'll come back." he told me and I nodded at his words even though I don't know if I believed them.

That night I went to see her and she came out with me for a walk.

"I'm sorry for pushing you away and pushing you to be with me. I shouldn't have." I started off

"I'm sorry too, I just can't right now." She looked away and I pulled her against my side

"I know but you need to know that I love you and I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't."

"Doing what?" she asked

"Letting you go." I told he and her eyes widened as she looked at me, this was going to kill us both.

"You are?" she asked softly

"Yes. I know you need time and I know you need to figure you out so I'm letting you go so you can do that," she went to speak and I put a finger in front of her lips "This doesn't mean I don't love you or I love you any less, it's the opposite of that. I'm always here if you need me and I'll be here when you're ready."

"I wish it could be different." She told me and I wrapped my arms around her as we got back to her house

"Me too baby. This isn't easy for me but I'm finally trying to do the right thing for you."

"What about you?" she asked

"The right thing for me would be to never let go but that's selfish of me and I've been selfish enough." I didn't remove my arms from around her because I wasn't ready to, because as soon as I did then it was over for real this time, at least for now.

"I love you." she said and that made it so much harder and I let a single tear escape and I know she felt is when it slid down the side of her face.

"I know I love you too." I sighed and it took all my inner strength to step back from her and she was crying too. Letting go was painful.

"Liam." Her voice broke

"I hope you come back to me." I told her and she nodded

"Me too." She whispered. I cradled her face in my hands and closed my eyes as I gave her a final kiss goodbye.

"I'm sorry for hurting you." I hugged her and then I left.

"I'm sorry too." She whispered as I walked away and that was the most painful thing I've ever had to do because I already knew that this wasn't just a phase or something that would pass.

What I felt for her was real and I was stupid for not realizing it sooner, if she came back to me I would never let her go again, I just hoped she did.

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