Truth In Words ✓[Secrets Book 3]

[Chapter Fifteen] Addie

         It's never enough to say I love you
                          No, it's never enough to say I try
                                    It's hard to believe
                   That's theres no way out for you and me
                             And it seems to be the story of our lives

                             Nobody wins when everyone's losing

                 It's like one step forward and two steps back
                         No matter what I do you're always mad
                            And I, I can't change your mind
          I know it's like trying to turn around on a one way street
                    I can't give you what you want
                                                   And it's killing me
                  And I, I'm starting to see
                                  Maybe we're not meant to be

                 There's still time to turn this around
  You could be building this up instead of tearing it down
                       But I keep thinking
                                        Maybe it's too late

             It's like one step forward and two steps back
                     No matter what I do you're always mad
                                  And I, baby I'm sorry to see
                                       Maybe we're not meant to be

                              Theory Of A Deadman: Not Meant To Be

Chapter Fifteen – Addie

I was done waiting and done with him breaking my heart. Seeing him with her, shirtless that was like a slap of reality to me. I know he saw me and I know he chased after me but I didn't care I just ran. My stomach was healed now and I kept running until I came to Kalila's happy place.

I don't know how I ran the whole way there and when I got there I shivered, freezing. I lit a little fire and grabbed some paint. I don't know how long I sat there but when I looked at the canvas is was a mess of colors all running together, it was a splattered mess, just like my heart.

I put the small fire out and left because it was freezing in there, that place was not meant for a winter night. I was a good distance in the middle of the space between anywhere when it started pouring down rain. I started running but quickly stopped when I slipped. I was freezing and shivering but I knew where I was, by the pond.

I cursed out loud because I really didn't have much of a choice as I dug my wet phone out, trying to shelter myself under a tree.

"Addie?" Liam answered "Thank god everyone's freaking out, where are you?" he asked

"I'm outside." My voice broke

"Why are you out there? Addie it's freezing, where are you?" he asked

"I was on my way back home; I'm by your house. I don't want to talk and I don't want any kind of confrontation, I'm just so cold." I was shivering violently

"Come over and hurry." He told me and I was stumbling my way over when he met me outside and pulled me in his house. I haven't been here yet and he looked at me concerned but I didn't want his concern.

"Liam." I looked away and he sighed

"Go take those off in the laundry room and we'll wash them. You're all muddy." He looked me over

"No shit, I fell." I kicked my shoes off and pushed passed him. I know it was probably rude since this was his house and then I realized I didn't know where I was going so I stopped and just waited.

He walked in front of me and I followed him into the laundry room and then he left. I pulled my socks off first and wiggled out of my tight and soaking wet jeans. I shivered as I tried to grip onto my jacket zipper to unzip it but I couldn't and I was frustrated

"I brought some dry." He stopped when he looked at me. He walked the rest of the way in and set the dry clothes on the dryer and he had no problem pulling the zipper down and he pushed my jacket off my shoulders and tossed it into the washer.

His eyes didn't leave mine and his hands stopped on the hem of my shirt. I didn't know what I was feeling right now but we were so close right now. I could feel his breath fanning across my face and it smelt minty, not like beer.

My hand was touching the washer behind me and I was closed in the small space but I never felt trapped with him, he's kissed me and I've been pinned beneath him and never once felt scared.

He leaned in slightly and I closed my eyes

"Please don't." I whispered and I took a breath before I opened my eyes and his were still peering into mine sadly.

"I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything to you anymore but I'm sorry. I should have just let it go and I didn't."

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" we were speaking low, like and louder and it would shatter everything.

"Because I'm selfish." He pushed my wet hair back and then I realized how freezing I still was. I raised my hands as he pulled my long sleeve shirt over my head and he trailed a finger over the scars on my neck and chest so I stepped back. They were all hideous and I hated them.

"Don't touch them." I looked away

"Why?" he asked me

"Because they're ugly, I can't stand them."

"Every scar is just one more thing you survived. They may be from an ugly thing but they aren't ugly and they're nothing to be ashamed of."

"You can't say things like that to me!" I finally broke the quiet.

"I know, but it's all true." He stepped closer and I could feel his body heat seeping into my skin. We were nearly chest to, well almost stomach as he looked down at me. I was so conflicted and I know that I was about to hurt myself worse but right now I didn't care, I didn't care about anything but this moment.

"Kiss me." I told him and he didn't protest as he leaned down and swiftly pressed his mouth to mine. I bit gently on his lower lip. As soon as he parted his lips and his tongue met mine he picked me up and set me on what I'm assuming was the dryer.

He stepped between my legs and wrapped one arm around me and rested the other on the back of my head. I was still wet and It was soaking through his shirt so he pulled back both of us breathing hard and when he put his hands on the hem of my tank top I lifted my arms up for him to pull it off.

We were playing in dangerous territory as I pulled his shirt over his head, we both knew the limits, we set them, but it felt so forbidden. He kissed me again and I wrapped my arms and legs around him so I wouldn't fall as he picked me up and brought me upstairs to his room, the man had strength.

"You're so beautiful and so are these, they show your strength." He brushed his lips gently over the scars that I had, sealing it wish a gentle kiss. He moved from my neck to my chest, lightly kissing the ones scattered on my stomach, spending longer on the large angry looking one on my stomach.

His lips moved to my sides and to some people it would be extremely sexual but this just felt intimate in a very innocent way. Sure his lips on my bare skin felt good but even as he moved to the ones on my inner thighs I didn't think about sleeping with him or doing anything else, my eyes started to water because someone understood them and didn't look at me like I was ruined or tainted.

He touched them and kissed them because he truly thought they were beautiful because they were a part of me.