Cowboy Casanova

Chapter 1

TIM POV: I hear Mama's screams from my room. I shut my eyes tightly and begin to pray that we can make it through just one more night. Just one more of Dad's drunken rages. I know this has to be the last one. Daddy will quit drinking. He promised me he would...

The morning light forces its way between the blinds in my room. The unwelcome light makes me pull my blankets over my head. I don't want to witness the damage from last night.

I haven't slept in days. I can't sleep when they argue. I hear their screaming in my dreams, and it becomes a nightmare.

"Hey, Tim?" I hear Mama say as she slowly opens my door. "It's time to wake up sweetie." She says. I feel her sit down beside me in bed, but I refuse to come out from under the blanket. I don't want to see the bruises. When I see her bruises, I can't help but cry... I know they have to hurt... So in an effort not to cry, I hide my eyes. "Come on honey. You're going to be late for school." She says, giving me a slight pat on the back. 

"I don't want to go." I say. 

"I know you don't honey, but you have to." She says with her smooth voice. She starts to slowly pull off the blanket, so I bury my head in the pillow. Once I feel the blanket slip completely off of me, I start to cry. I hate him... I hate him so much... "It's okay honey." She says, hearing me crying. She rubs my back. 

"I hate him." I say. She sighs. 

"Don't say that about your father." She says, but I know she hates him too. I finally get the courage to lift up my head to look at her. The bright sunlight blinds me before my eyes adjust. Her bright smile is dulled by the two black eyes and cut lip. She has bruises around her neck too. 

"Why don't we leave, Mama?" I ask. 

"Because, your Daddy needs us to help him get better, okay? We can't just leave him all by himself." She says, her voice crackling. 

"We can leave him."

"Samuel!" She warns. 

"I'm being serious. He keeps hurting us Mama. Why should we stay? He's gonna kill you, Mama..." I say. 

"Just," She sighs. "just get ready. Okay Sam?" She says, sounding a little frustrated. I do as she says and throw on my clothes. I run down stairs and start to make cereal when Dad walks in with only his boxers on. 

"Hey Sammy," He says. I hate when he calls me that. "how'd you sleep last night?" 

"Not very well." I say. 

"Why?" He asks, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"You and Mom were arguing again." I say blandly. He turns around to face me and opens his mouth, as if to say something. He decides to keep to himself instead as Mom walks in the room. 

"Betty." He says, smiling at her. 

"You ready for school honey?" She says, blowing Dad off. 

"Yep." I say, looking at my full cereal bowl. Guess I'm not eating again. 

It's Monday, and the bruises from Dad's outburst Saturday are still visible. The kids at recess pick on me about it, but I just ignore them. That is, until they bring Mom into it. 

"I bet she deserves it." says one of the guys. 

"Yeah! My mom tells me she's a complete whore."

"Doesn't surprise me." Says another one of the kids. I try to walk away from them, but then the biggest of them gets in front of me and pushes me to the ground. 

"Leave me alone!" I scream. They don't listen. The boys jump on me and start hitting me. Everyone on the playground starts to gather and cheer the guys on. 

"Kill 'em!" Screams one of the boys in a grade above me. I begin to cry, because I don't know what else to do. They all want me dead... 

"I hate you, Smith!" Screams one of the boys who is beating me up. A teacher comes over a peels them off of me. I lay down, the students are still gathered around me, now they are just staring and laughing. Some show concern, but not that many.  

"I hope you burn in hell, Sam!" Screams another one of the boys as the teacher takes them to the principal's office. I get up and start to run, even though my leg is killing me. 

"Sam!" My teacher screams. Another teacher tries to block me from running away, but I blow right past him. Tears begin to blur my eyes as I run towards the parking lot and out towards the road. I begin to pick up the pace as I feel my foot catch on something. I stumble, landing hard on the black top. I must've hit my head, because my vision is all blurry. I hear my teachers screaming behind me. I look back to realize that I'm laying in the middle of the busy road. I start to get up and run again, but it's hard to see. I run back into the school building. I look down each hallway for a place to hide. 

"Samuel." I hear my princapal call. I panic and hide in a janitors closet. I curl up between the shelf and the wall. I start to weep quietly, so my teachers won't hear me. I don't want to be here anymore. Why can't I just die already? Nobody wants me anyways. It's not like Dad would be sad, and Mom would be happy as long as Dad's there with her. She doesn't need me. I don't have any friends either... Nobody would even care... 

"Sam?" I hear my mom say. I  curl my knees even closer, as I hear her walk into the room. They must've called her from work. She's going to be pissed. "Sam, honey?" She says, kneeling down beside me. I look at her and start to whimper. "Aw honey, it's okay." She says. 

"No it's not!" I burst through my tears. 

"Sam..." She says, a little shocked. 

"I hate how everyone is always saying it's okay, and it's not!" 

"Alright honey," she says. "what's wrong?"

"Everything! Dad, school, people, just everything." I sob. I feel like a wimp.

"Honey, I promise I can-" 

"Stop making promises, Ma." I say insensitively. I wipe my eyes and walk past her, into the hallway. She doesn't chase after me, knowing the volatile state that I'm in. Why me? What have I ever done to deserve this? 

Everyday I either face the abuse at home, or the bullying at school. I pick my poison every damn day. I hate this. I hate me...