Cowboy Casanova

Chapter 48

TIM POV: Being mad at Faith was wrong. She needs me more than ever right now, so I need to man up and be patient with her. Patience has never been my stronghold... 

She's home now, which is a god sent. She and I talk nightly about what's happened since her memory dropped off. Kendricks said the likeliness of her waking up one day and remembering everything is not very high, and that we should learn how to move on past this rather than waiting. Every night we drink a glass of wine on the back porch and talk about what we remember. 

Her memory is impeccable. If I tell her to remember a number, she'll remember it for days. I think her fear of forgetting things now is helping force her to remember. It hurts to think of it that way, but it works for her. 

"You know, I always kind of wondered what you were like before the whole Scott thing happened." I say to Faith as she walks out with wine. She smiles. 

"Am I different?" She asks. I nod and laugh a bit. 

"You're a little more mature." I say. 

"Is that a bad thing?" She says. 

"Not at all. You're just happier than the way I knew you. It's like the whole event changed you and aged you." I say. She nods. 

"Well, losing your baby and husband could probably cause that." She says. It reminds me of the vision in the coma. Faith lost Emily and me... oddly enough.

"How are you dealing with hearing about all of that?" I ask. She shrugs her shoulders. 

"It's not what I wanted to wake up to, but I feel like it's been so long..." She says. "I'm guessing I got over them?" She asks. I nod. Faith never really has brought anything about them up to me. The whole event with them is tragic. I wish I could take away that pain.

"I guess you did." I say. "You're a lot stronger than anyone else really realized." I add.

"Did you realize it?" She asks, shooting me a smile. Part of me feels wrong. I feel like her affection is betraying... well... Faith... I need to understand this is Faith now. That girl I used to know is gone... I guess I shouldn't say that either. The girl I used to know is standing right in front of me, healthy. That's all I can ask for. I can make this memory thing work with time. 

"I think I saw it more than most people, but you never really let people see any of your pain. You were scared of being a burden." I explain. She stares at her knees. 

"I can't imagine me being like that..." She says. It comes as a shock to me. 

"Well, what can you imagine yourself as?" I ask, letting out a little laugh, mainly of surprise. 

"I've always been so open. That's what Scott used to love about me. He used to say I was so transparent, and that he knew just what was wrong by looking at me. I used to be quick to talk and admit things." She says. I try to think of Faith that way. I always knew her as quiet, and reserved in public. She was transparent to me. 

"You weren't really open to the public." I say. She nods. 

"Was I scared to get hurt or something?" She asks. 

"You were scared of them looking into your past." I say, thinking about how grateful I am that the press hasn't discovered my past. I know it's just a matter of time. 

The next morning, I've set up a meeting with Carrie at Sound Stage. I walk in to find her rehearsing with her band. She looks much better than she looked before. More innocent... 

"Hey!" She says, giving me a hug. Her smile shines at me like neon lights. 

"Hi, is there somewhere we can-" I ask. She nods and takes me by the hand to a back room in the warehouse. She walks in first, and turns to face me when I close the door. She shrugs her shoulders, letting her bubbly persona crumble away. 

"So what do you exactly want now, Tim?" She asks. I swallow deep. 

"I know about the baby." I say, thinking about the dream. She looks sheepish. 

"I had no choice. You know I didn't. If the public found out anyways, they would've tracked it back to you and her." She says. My heart sinks as I realize a difference. 

"Did you get an abortion?" I ask softly. She nods shyly, letting a few tears fall from her eyes. 

"I didn't want to... it wasn't my choice." She cries. I nod and wrap my arms around her. 

"It's okay. Everything is going to be okay." I tell her. She nods and wipes her tears as she pulls away. "Now, I need to talk business with you. I know it's a horrible segway..." I say. She nods. 

"No, it's fine." She says. 

"The affair can never spread past us, you understand? You cannot tell a single soul." I say. She bites her lip. 

"Tim, people already know. I mean, everyone guessed it before this whole coma thing." She says, my throat feels tight. 

"Have you told anyone? Like a press conference or anything?" I ask. She shakes her head. 

"No, why?" She asks. 

"Because I need to be the first to release a statement." I say. She immediately begins to become argumentative. 

"Whoa!  Why can't I be the first?" She asks. 

"Because you don't have a wife and kids." I answer, walking quickly out of the room. I pull out my phone and begin to dial my publicist. 

"Oh, sorry I didn't betray anyone." She argues. 

"Carrie..." I warn. "Faith knows." I tell her. Her jaw drops. 

"What did she say?" She asks, following me out of the building. 

"She said she'd give me another chance." Of course, that was before the amnesic state Faith's in now. We still have yet to announce that. That would be a horrible double announcement.

"Holy shit..." She says, with much surprise. 

"She's more forgiving than I deserve." I say, getting into my car. 

"No shit." Carrie says, letting out a little laugh. She stands beside the car as I drive away, leaving her behind in the parking lot. 

"We need to call an emergency press conference." I say to my publicist. 

"Why?" He asks, sounding increasingly irritated. 

"I slept with Carrie Underwood." I say. He rubs his forehead. 

"Shit, Tim." He says. I shrug my shoulders. 

"It happened, it's over, and I would like to do a conference before she makes a statement." 

"Does Faith know?" He asks quickly, while dialing numbers on his phone. I stand for a second... 

"I don't quite know..." I say. Shit...