Cowboy Casanova

Chapter 51

TIM POV: These last two years have wrecked me... 

We've gone in a complete circle... Faith is now, not only stuck in the hospital, but overcoming complications from Cancer. She's so ill... It hurts me to see her like this. To see her pain... I wish I could take it all away.

I watch her chest inflate as she slowly breathes in. It brings me some peace, knowing that she's alive. There have been too many moments where I could've lost her...

This is sick... and twisted. This whole game the world is playing. I understand why I deserved the pain. I understand completely. She has never done anything to deserve this. It's unfair, and miserable. She doesn't deserve this...

I hear her whimper. She's looking up at me with eyes full of tears. I wipe a few away that managed to slip. She looks like she is in such pain. 

"What's going on baby?" I ask. She shuts her eyes tightly, causing more tears to fall. I can feel my eyes sting just seeing her tears flow. 

Pain... she mouths. I hit the call button. A doctor runs right in. 

"Okay, so what's going on now darlin'?" He asks, slipping on gloves. She cringes and yelps, pointing to her head. I feel numb, as I cross my arms to restrain myself. I can't do this... I'm not this strong. The doctor releases a little frown and goes to grab some medicine. They can only give her more painkillers. 

She begins to twitch, making me feel sick. I try to keep myself from crying, but I know what this means. The medicine is killing a part of her brain as we speak. She feels parts of her brain being suffocated, and eventually, dying. I want to help her so badly... but there's nothing I can do. I watch her body struggle as her brain continues to die. Her body is so tense, that she cannot even wipe her own tears away. She moves like a barbie doll. Her arms are stuck at full extension, her fingers are glued together, and her legs can only bend a minimal amount. She looks so uncomfortable.

"Alright Faith. I need you to count to ten for me, okay?" The doctor says, placing the needle in her IV. She cringes, knowing that the medicine hurts the most. She nods and begins to count. 

"1-2-3-" She starts, with her tired and raspy voice  filling the room. She suddenly stops counting, replacing the numbers with groans of pain. I shut my eyes, to try and shut myself off for a moment so I don't lose my mind. I open them again once I hear him finish.

"You're all done honey. It's okay." The doctor says, squeezing her hand lightly. She's twitching, slowly losing emotion in her eyes. I watch as she becomes numb to the world around her. These next few hours will be nonexistent in her memory... 

After two hours, I leave the room for a brief moment to go talk to Kendricks. As I feel myself get farther from her, I feel more and more sorrow. Tears are welling up in my eyes no matter how hard I push them back. I walk quickly, trying to get to Kendricks before I lose my mind. I open the door to his office, and completely collapse. I begin to cry and curse God. 

"Tim, it's okay." Kendricks says, rubbing my back and trying to get me off the floor. I continue to breakdown. 

"What did she do? Why does she deserve this?" I cry. He shuts the door of his office and sits down on the floor next to me. He tries to comfort me, but it doesn't help any. 

"Sometimes shit just happens..." He says. 

"Sick bastards. She doesn't deserve this." I scream. He nods. 

"Tim, we are running out of time." He says blandly. I nod. 

"I know." 

"There isn't anything we can do besides that drug." He says. I bite the inside of my cheek and close my eyes. I can feel tears running down my cheeks. "We either do that, or I'm letting her go. I'm not going to watch her suffer any longer. I know you feel the same way." I nod, feeling myself cry harder.