Cowboy Casanova

Chapter 27

FAITH POV: I'm rudely awakened by Gary and Betty. I can tell by the way they are both here, that this can't be good. 

"What's wrong?" I say after a good ten minutes of moaning-and-groaning. Betty looks at me with sad eyes and turns on the TV. Gary hands me a blanket and a cup of coffee. "Where are the girls?" I ask. 

"Up in their rooms. I took them out of school for the day." Betty says. I'm beginning to think some national tragedy happened, until the news pops up. It's a press conference. 

"Who's press conference is this?" I ask. Gary and Betty look at each other. "What's going on?" I ask, after not receiving a quick enough answer. Betty opens her mouth, but then the TV answers my question. A young blonde hair girl stands behind a podium. The TV banner claims her to be the mistress of a country megastar. "Is that the girl from the New Years party?" I ask. Gary nods. 

"It sure is." He says, sounding a little displeased. The girl talks for a while, before speaking on the subject. A reporter asks her a question regarding if, and who she has had an affair with. 

"Last year and the year before was when that whole debacle went down. As of right now, I'm trying to keep their identities safe for his family." She says. 

"Where's the child?" Another reporter asks. 

"She got pregnant?" I say, astounded at how young and skinny she is. 

"Yeah, she did." Betty says softly. Something's up. 

"She's at home. I also wish for her privacy too." She says. 

"Many sources believe that the affair was between you and Tim McGraw. Comments?" A reporter says loudly amid the chaos and noise. My chest tenses. The girl takes a moment and looks down at the podium. She bites her lip, as she looks over to her publicist. The publicist looks at her with eyes that resemble daggers. 

"Yes, the affair did occur between me and Mr McGraw." She says. My breath is taken away. Betty gasps and Gary hops right on his phone, calling over my publicist. The whole crowd of reporters begins to roar. 

"Did Faith know about this?" One of them screams. 

"No. He wanted to keep it secret." She says. Tears begin to roll down as I watch everything I thought I knew about the past three years crumble. 

"Did he harass you into this?" Another asks. 

"He didn't exactly force me. There was a bit of intimidation." She says. Betty goes to turn off the TV. 

"Don't." I say. What else didn't he tell me? 

"Did Mr McGraw know about the child?" 

"No. I tried to reach out to him the day that he passed, actually." She says.

"We need to talk with her publicists now and find out what the fuck they are doing." My publicist screams. They are all standing around the kitchen island arguing while I sit on the couch with a blanket draped over me, bitting my nails. They hate it when I do that, but I can't help it. I'm freaked out.

"Faith, you okay?" Gary asks over to me. Everyone looks at me now. 

"Honey, please don't bite your nails." My cosmetologist says. Apparently we are hosting an emergency appearance on GMA in five hours, so I'm forced to pull an all nighter. 

"It's cold in here." I say, shivering. 

"Faith, it's like a hundred degrees in here." My publicist says, looking down at note cards. Gary comes over and feels my head. 

"You feel like you're dead." He says. "Are you sick?"

"I don't think so..." I say. Just then, a letter blows onto my foot. 

"What's this?" Gary says picking it up. "It's one of Tim's letters. Do you even want to mess with it right now?" He says quietly to me. He, the girls, Betty, and my therapist are the only ones who know about it.

"What does it say?" I ask, sitting up. 

"It says For when you're ready." He reads. 

"It doesn't have a number?" I ask. He shakes his head. I take it and open it. It too feels ice cold. I begin to read as Gary goes back over to the freaked out publicists. 

Dear Faith, this letter has been the hardest to write. I don't want you to hate me, but you have every right to. I'm in no sense an angel, as you know. And I have made many mistakes. One of my biggest, has regretfully been being unfaithful to you. Honey, I love you more than the world. God knows what was going through my mind at that moment, but I regret it. The decision to have an affair was not based on you at all. I was drunk, and you were frustrated with me. I ended the affair, but not soon enough. I should've been spending more time with you, rather than sneaking off with her. 

You saw her once. I don't know if you ever met or not, but I felt shameful. That's when I knew I had to break it off. I was honestly scared to get caught, and I should've been. At the time, I wanted to tell you. I wanted to come clean about everything, but then I had to think about the girls and how I only had a little bit of time left with them. I didn't want to spend our small time left fighting either. So I regretfully, and shamefully, kept it away from you. I'm writing this letter like a damn coward, I know. I can hear your laugh from down the hall, and it makes me feel sick. I feel sick whenever you say that you love me, because I haven't been as loyal to you as you have been for me. Baby, I know this is the last thing you'll want to hear right now, but I love you so much. You are my world. 

If you're curious, her name is Carrie. She's also a country singer. We started the affair when I had about eight months left. I saw her more than a few times, before you woke up, after you went to bed, or while at "work". Honey, I'm so sorry. I'm ashamed of what I've done. I would give anything to fix what I've done. 

I'm so sorry. Please don't remember me by this  - Tim

I throw down the paper and scream. Everyone begins to stare at me as I cry. Gary runs over and rubs my back. 

"Shhhh.... calm down honey."

"I hate him. I fucking hate him." I say, burying my head in my hands. "How could he? How dare he go behind my back like that..." I cry. Gary rubs my back. I hand him the letter and watch him read it. 

"Please don't remember me by this? Is he serious?" Gary says, also fuming mad. That's when I hear it. 

"I'm so sorry..." I hear him say. I become hard, and cold, before screaming bloody murder. 

"Leave me alone!" I scream, covering my ears and sobbing. Gary wraps his arms around me and rocks me back and forth. "I hate you! I hate you so damn much...." I say. His voice echos now, filling up my ears. The sound is almost unbearable. 

"Honey just calm down and breathe, okay?" I hear Gary say, as Tim's voice suddenly falls mute. I can barely see through the tears. 

"Why? Why did he have to do this?" I ask Gary. He shakes his head. 

"I don't know sweetheart. Just don't let this hurt you, okay?" He says. 

"I wasn't enough Gar... So, I'm already hurt." I say, standing up and grabbing my antidepressants out of the cabinet. Gary takes them from my hands. 

"Okay, first things first, I'm not going to let you medicate yourself. For now on, I give you your pills only when prescribed." He says. I look at him with surprise. Is he putting me on suicide watch? "And secondly, don't feel hurt, Faith. You didn't do anything wrong. He was just being immature and selfish. You know how he'd get when he drank." He says. 

"Do you think he slept with her at that New Years party?" I ask. Gary has a sudden look of shame on him. "Oh my god... did you see them?" He nods sadly. 

"When you called, he came out and she was in his shirt..." He says slowly. I punch his arm. 

"Why the hell didn't you tell me then?" I yell. 

"Because I just was drunk and I thought I was mistaken..." He says. I roll my eyes and escape upstairs. "Faith, wait!" He yells, but I've already locked the door. I'm done.