Cowboy Casanova

Chapter 39

FAITH POV: Tim and I are sitting at home, reading to Gracie on Christmas eve. It was our only break on the entire tour so far, so we took advantage of it. 

I am about four months pregnant with Maggie. Tim sits in our bed, with one arm wrapped around me. Gracie sits between his left and my right thigh. She looks at the pictures with such curiosity and wonder. Tim reads while I lay my head upon his shoulder and get lost in the tone of his voice. We've only been married for about two years, and they've been a fairy tale. I can't imagine living more than a day without him. 

Gracie finally falls asleep in our bed, so Tim quietly and carefully takes her to her crib. He lays her down and tip toes out, making sure not to wake her. He walks back into our room and finally begins to breathe again, knowing he can't awaken her. I smile at him from the bed. I'm wearing nothing but his old white t-shirt. I grab the Santa hat off of his nightstand and place it on my head. 

"Oooo, Mrs Claus!" He says suggestively. I wink and flatten the covers over me. He jumps in bed and begins to kiss me. 

"Merry Christmas, baby." I say softly. 

"Merry Christmas, honey." He says. 

"You know you can call me if you need anything." My step-dad says, pulling into my apartment building in Nashville. I smile. 

"I'll be fine, Daddy." I say, getting out and eagerly grabbing the few boxes of my things. He helps me carry them up. We walk in the apartment and he sighs. 

"This is a piece of shit apartment." He admits. I nod. 

"It's good for now." I say, smiling like a kid in a candy store. My first real apartment. 

Dad looks far older now since she left him... I was about fourteen years old, and it was clear that I wasn't going anywhere. My foster-dad adopted me, after my foster-mom decided she was going to leave, since I wasn't. Ever since then, it's just been us two. We've been happier than we've ever been. He often jokes about how much better off he is now that she's gone. 

"Be careful, Faith." He says softly. I can hear the sadness in his voice. He's letting his baby girl go. I feel tears well up in my eyes. 

"I'll be just fine." I reply quietly. He nods, trying to convince himself more than anyone. 

"I'm sure you will be." 

"I will." 

"You know you can always come back home. Don't ever hesitate. There is no shame-" He starts. I smile as a tear slips. 

"I know, Daddy." I say. "I love you." I signal him, so he knows he's okay to go now. 

"I love you too Darlin'." He says sadly. "I guess it's time for me to leave you to it then." He says wiping his eyes. I smile and walk him downstairs. I wave as he drives away. 

I'm four years old, and Mom's grabbing her bags. She throws them in the back of her rusty pickup, taking a deep breath as she shuts the tailgate. I run into my room and throw a few things in a pink backpack. She stands in the doorway and watches me zip up the bag and put it on my back. 

"Where do you think you're going, Audrey Faith?" She asks. 

"With you!" I say, walking past her and towards the car. She grabs the fabric of my bag and gives me a slight pull back. 

"Honey, you aren't coming with me." She says. My heart begins to break. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Mommy's going somewhere that kids aren't allowed." She says. I sit for a moment and think. 

"When are you coming back?" I ask. She takes a deep breath and cringes. 

"I'm not." She says. 

"But mom..." I start. "What about me?" I ask sadly. Hot tears are emerging in my eyes.

"I'm going to have someone here who can watch you." She says as the doorbell rings. She runs to get it. In steps a social worker. She's here to pick me up. 

"Momma!" I begin to wail as she walks out the door for a final time. "Momma, why are you leaving?" I cry. 

"Because I'm chasing my dreams." She says. "Someday, you can come a meet me in Nashville, baby. We can sing and dance together. You just can't come with me now." She continues, elaborately describing our future. I smile. 

"You promise?" I ask. 

"I swear." She says, pulling out and driving away for the last time.

I wake up to the feeling of someone touching my hand. It's a robber. I pull my hand away quickly and try to crawl to the other side of the bed, but he grabs me. Tim's pointing a gun at him from the door. The man points a gun back. "Leave." Tim repeats. I can see horror in his eyes. 

"Daddy..." Gracie calls out softly. I watch part of Tim die, as he turns to see all three of the girls in the hallway. I start to cry, seeing desperation on Tim's face. The man points the gun to my head, making me cringe. The girls can't watch this... They can't see one of us get shot. That would scar them long after this night. 

"Choose." The man says bluntly, staring soullessly into Tim's eyes. He points the gun between me and the kids. Choose me, Tim.... Choose me.... Tim looks empty.

"Shoot me." I begin to scream, until two rounds fire. The loud bang shocks my senses. I watch Tim double over in pain and hold his gut. He shot him in the stomach... He groans as the man lets go of me and grabs Audrey. I start to cry out, but he aims the gun at my head, quickly muting me. 

"Her turn." He says, making Audrey stand only a foot away from Tim.

"No... No... Please..." Tim panics and holds up the gun. I watch his arms tremble as he fires the gun. I close my eyes, praying he didn't hit Audrey. I open my eyes to see the man bleeding from the neck, and Audrey safe in Tim's arms. I gasp for breath and run towards Tim, who's shaking so hard that his entire body in quivering. He's bleeding a lot... I dial 9-1-1 and situate the girls outside of the room. I shut the door and console Tim, making sure he's okay. 

"Are you going to be okay?" I ask. He smiles

"I'm going to be just fine." He says, sounding like he's holding back piercing pain. "I love you so much." He says. I smile.

"I love you too." I say, then returning to the 9-1-1 operator. I see him out of the corner of my eye, try to get up. I put a hand on his chest and push him back down. He needs to rest. Then, I hear a click. Two loud bangs emanate from behind me. I feel Tim tense up, then blood is everywhere. I freeze for a moment, not comprehending what has just happened. I look behind me, before ever looking at Tim. 

The man is still alive. He points his gun at me and pulls the trigger. I cringe, expecting to be hit. He's out of bullets... I quickly grab Tim's gun and fire four shots at him. He stops breathing...

 I drop the gun and start to cry. Did I just kill someone? I stumble back. I look down to Tim to see if he's alright. My jaw drops and my insides churn. The most gory scene I've ever witnessed, lies at my feet. I stand for a moment, unsure what to do. Tears run down my cheeks as I begin to feel sick. I start to scream. I don't know what else to do. He's gone.... He's long past gone... He's beyond repair. 

As my worst fear lay in front of me, I hear one of the girls open the door. I sprint to it and thrust my whole body weight against it. I will not let my children see this horror. 

"Momma, what's wrong?" Gracie asks. I continue to scream, not answering her. I don't know what to tell them. I don't know what to tell me.

I watch my hero lay lifeless on the ground... in pieces. I try to coax myself into checking for a pulse, but his condition is clear. He's dead... and there's nothing I can do about it.