Cowboy Casanova

Chapter 7

TIM POV: Faith fell asleep in my arms tonight, which is an improvement from about a week ago, when she tried to stab me with a spoon... I don't know how, or why actually, but something just clicked between us.

I move a bit to try to fix my arm, which has now fallen asleep. She's smiling in her sleep, and it's kind of adorable. She's definitely a hell of lot different than I expected. She's complex, and I kinda like it... 

"Don't...." She says in her sleep, clenching onto my chest, skin and all. She must be having a nightmare. She starts to tense up, before tears slip out of her eyes. 

"Faith?" I say, but she doesn't wake up. I'm quickly met with murderous screams. 

"Scott!" she screams, burying her face in my chest. "Take me..."

"Faith, wake up." I say, giving her a shake. She quickly opens up her eyes and sits up. She covers her mouth, then starts to sob. "Hey, what's wrong?" 

"It was just a nightmare." She says, as if she was trying to convince herself. 

"Honey," I start. She stands up and pushes me away. 

"Stop."

"Stop what?" I say, following her. 

"I'm going to hurt you." She says, backing into the kitchen island. 

"Faith, you're not going to hurt me." I say. She takes a few deep breaths and slides down on the floor. "You okay?" I ask. 

"I think." She replies, sounding much calmer. 

"Was is about Scott?" 

"Yeah..."

"You were screaming." 

"I'm sorry." She says, running her fingers through her hair. I sit down beside her and wrap my arm around her. 

"It's alright." I say, giving her a little squeeze. She places her head on my shoulder. 

"Thank you for dealing with me." She says. 

"No problem." I laugh and she smiles. When I look down at her, she leans in to kiss me. She pulls away and smiles again. 

"I'm sorry... I just..."

"That's fine." I say, smiling a bit myself. She gets a bit of a daring smile on her face as she straddles my legs to sit on my lap. "What you doin'?" I laugh. 

"What does it look like?" She smiles and kisses me again, slowly unbuttoning her shirt. I smile, and run my fingers down her back. She runs her hands under my shirt, before taking off to reveal every scar on me. She pauses and covers her mouth for a second. "What happened?"

"A car accident and my dad." I explain. She stands up, and I do the same. I wrap my arms around her and sway back and forth with her. 

"It was that bad?" She asks. 

"Yeah..." I say. 

"That's sick."

"I know," She looks down at my surgery scars. "trust me." I run my fingers through her long, blonde hair. She looks back up to me, before resuming our kiss. 

"I love you." She says, between kisses. 

"I love you too." I say back. I mean it too. Last time I felt like this for someone, it was with.....

I curl around Faith, with both of my arms wrapped around her as she sleeps. I haven't closed my eyes at all. What if I hurt her too? I can't stop thinking. My head just keeps racing through all the possible scenarios. Jana.... Her laugh is taunting me. I can't hurt Faith too.... I don't deserve her..... 

I'm just getting out of prison, she deserves better. She deserves someone.... like Scott. I don't fit the bill. 

I sit up on the edge of the bed, making sure not to wake her up. I look down at her. 

"Tim...." Jana's voice says. "let her go... before you hurt her too". I cover my ears, but I can still hear her. What have I done? 

I find some post-it's in one of the kitchen drawers. 

Call me when you get a chance -Tim, I write. I can talk to her about this later. Right now, I just need to just seclude myself. I stick it on the coffee pot, knowing she drinks coffee every morning. My hands begin to shake as I grab my jacket. 

I peel out of the driveway as fast as I can. I need to get home. I struggle to breathe as I clench onto the wheel for dear life. What's going on with me? Am I having a panic attack?

I pull into the parking lot, and run up stairs. Once I get in my apartment, I collapse down on the couch, and briefly pass out. 

I wake up to see that it's five.... at night. The answering machine is flashing like crazy as I pry myself off of the couch. I stumble a bit as I hit the play button. 

"Message one on December 18, 1989: Hey, uh, Tim... it's me. I just.... I just wanted to make sure everything's okay with you.... and me... So... um... yeah, just give me a call back okay? Thanks, bye." She sounds like she's on the verge of a breakdown.