Tell Me I'm A Bad Man [Teacher/Student Frerard]

Ten - I Know How Much You Hate This

I skipped the rest of my classes, ignoring the texts that Brendon, Ryan, Patrick, Pete and Ray were sending me. I couldn't go back to class. I just didn't want to.

When the bell rang for the end of school, I waited until the halls sounded silent before leaving. To be honest, I wasn't sure what to do with myself. Admitting that I had some stupid little crush on Gerard Way kind of took it out of me, and I was in no rush to go anywhere but out of here. As I left the bathroom, my head down, my fingers curled around the strap of my bag, I watched my feet as they walked the corridor, not noticing that I was hurrying towards someone until it was too late.

I looked up and met Gerard's eyes, feeling my expression turn sour. He looked at me, startled, brushing his hair from his face. "Frank, hey." He said, swallowing heavily. "Are you okay?"

I was fully aware of my bloodshot eyes, and I was also fully aware of the fact that my eyeliner had run and my lips were chapped, and I probably looked a mess. "Fine." I said shortly, and then I brushed past him.

His hand shot out and grabbed mine, his smooth fingers linking with my semi-gloved ones. Having him hold my hand just made it hurt even more, and I wanted to pull away. "Hey," he said softly. "hey, what's wrong?"

"Like you don't already know." I hissed, through gritted teeth.

"Frank, I -"

"It doesn't matter."

"Please -"

"Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't even acknowledge my presence."

"But -"

"Otherwise - otherwise I'll go to the police."

His eyes widened and his lips parted, his expression showing nothing but hurt. It stabbed at my heart, but I dismissed it. "Why would you do that?"

I knew that I could go to the police and make it sound like it was all forced, but I also knew that I wouldn't. I couldn't do that. "Because you're a liar, and a cheater, and Bert deserves better."

With that, I ripped my hand from his and walked away, towards the exit of the school. I didn't know why I'd said what I'd said to him, because I hadn't meant it. I just wanted to upset him, because I was upset. The words had just come out of my mouth without me thinking about them, harsh and hurtful and horrible. And I felt bad for saying it, but I couldn't take it back.

Things were so much easier then I was at Pencey. There were no attractive art teachers, none of this feeling alone business - I had one friend and that was all I needed. Of course, I was going downhill on the inside, but that didn't matter until it was too late.

I decided to text Bob, whom I hadn't seen in a while, to see if he was around. I had nothing else to do, nowhere else to go, and I didn't want to see any of the others, so Bob it was. He was home alone, so I went to his. Bob had been my best friend at Pencey, and we'd had a sort of friends-with-benefits thing going on - without the sex. Actually, I don't think we did anything past making out. That is, until someone caught us making out in the locker rooms and spread it around the school. That started a chain of events that I'd rather not go into.

I hadn't seen Bob for weeks, but within five minutes of me getting to his, we were making out as if we hadn't seen each other for years. It was hot, it was intense, but it was nothing compared to Gerard. I pushed him from my mind as I concentrated on Bob. Bob was blonde, Bob was familiar territory, Bob was rough and sexy and knew just where to put his hands.

It suddenly got a whole lot more sexual when I grabbed his hand and pulled him to his room, both of us tugging desperately at each other's clothes. We'd gotten this far before, but I'd backed out before anything could happen. This time, I refused to back out. This time, I knew that I was going to go all the way.