She's our bodyguard?!?

Janet

My best friend died because of me. It was the worst day ever, well other than the day Liam was shipped off.

She even knew about my dad. She just didn't know much.

It's freezing outside, but right now, I don't really care.

I sat down on the damp grass and set the flowers down on the gravestone next to me.

"Um.. How have you been?" I asked , seeing my breath in the air.

"I guess, I've been good. I found Liam ,I knew you'd be happy about that. I wish you were still here, you would love the boys. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm so sorry. I heard Syd is doing amazing. I knew you always wanted her to be. I don't really know why I'm here, you probably hate me. I would hate me. I could've tried harder." I said sighing, I hope she can hear me. I know you probably think I'm crazy, talking to my best friend.

"I killed the man that killed you, if that helps. I bet when he got to where you are you cussed him out and slapped him or something like that, you did always defend what you loved, including yourself." I said slightly chuckling , then , another wave of extreme sadness hit me.

"I miss you so fucking much, you always knew what to say, you were my sister, my best friend , and all because of me, you got murdered. I really , really miss you." I cried, breaking down, I started sobbing on the ground , where a few feet under me, my best friend is buried.

I sobbed and tears started pouring out of me. My head hit the damp grass, I'm having an emotional breakdown. Fantastic, just wonderful

One bad thing about living this life , is, your not supposed to show ANY emotions. My father, would get really mad at me when I cried about my best friend dying, but fuck him, right? She was my best friend.

I felt a hand touch my shoulder, patting my back, and then rubbing circles. Liam. Of course he has to be here..

I sat up and hugged him- still half lying on the ground.

I cried into his chest, while he patted my back, saying things like "it's gonna be okay." , trying to soothe me. It didn't work. Don't know why he'd follow me

Liam was holding on to me, trying to calm me down.

I clutched onto him even tighter then I was before.

We sat like this for probably an hour , until eventually, my sobs faded , and we sat together in complete silence.

"How did you find me?" I ask Liam , Turning my head to look up at him

"You suck at sneaking out." Liam stated

"Do I?" I asked sarcastically and wincing at the painful memories.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up." Liam said , mentally calling him self a dumbass.

"She wouldn't want you to be sad, you know that, right?" Liam asked softly

"I know, she'd want me punching people in the face again, and hanging out at the diner, with you." I said remembering our meeting spot.

"I miss that place." Liam said smiling at the memories

"I think it's for sale?" I said smirking.

"We can't buy it!" Liam said looking down at me in shock.

"Oh, c'mon Liam. You're rich!" I stated

"I can't just use my credit card, the whole world thinks we are missing, a credit card charge would result in being found." Liam said , he is right though.

"Aha, but I got some money hidden at our old house, that mom is staying in."I told him

"Would it be enough? This is crazy Lea, people would know it's you. Some people don't need to know that your back in town." Liam said