Reckless Passion

Chapter 32

— Chapter 32 —

Song Themes For This Chapter: Hopeful Romantic – This Century; Ambulance Chaser – Search The City

— Louis —

I blew it, I thought.

Rose never texted or called me, and it was morning now.  I didn’t get any sleep at all.  I was up all night waiting for Rose to let me know she got home safe and I couldn’t sleep with the thousands of thoughts running through my mind anyway.

I couldn’t be mad at Rose for not texting or calling, she had every right to be angry with me.  I knew this would blow up in my face but I was an idiot and didn’t do anything while I had the chance.

A small part of me was angry though.  Not necessarily at Rose, but at… something.  I was a split second away from telling her I loved her and then everything was ruined.  Did she have any idea how hard that was for me?  I’ve never let anyone get that close to me.  She made me feel so vulnerable and then I practically fell on my knees, begging for her forgiveness.  I don’t beg!  I hate giving people power over me!  But I let her and now I was completely vulnerable to her.  To think I originally thought I would do this to her and eventually have her completely wrapped around my finger but now… I was the one grovelling at her feet.

I hear a few light knocks on my bedroom door followed by Harry’s concerned voice.  “Louis?  Are you alright in there?  You haven’t come out since you and Rose came back and Rose left a long time ago.”

Way to be around the bush, Harry.

“I’m fine, Harry.  Just leave me alone.”  I say in a flat tone.

“Niall and Liam are gone to get smokes and food and stuff.  Zayn is napping on the couch in the living room.  I saved one of my oatmeal muffins that I made for breakfast for you.”  Harry says in a soft, hopeful tone.

I roll my eyes.  “Fine.  Come in.”

Harry immediately opens the door and steps in, closing the door behind him, and walking over to sit across from me on my bed.  He hands me the small plate with the muffin sitting in the middle of it.

“If you act any more feminine, Harry, I’m going to start wondering if you’ve had a sex change.”  I half-joke as I take the plate from him and set it on the bed as I pick up the muffin and take a bite out of it.

He merely shrugs as he gives me a half smile.

I continue to munch on the muffin without saying another word.  Harry sits across from me, patiently waiting.  He knows something happened and he’s concerned, I know how he acts.

I’m down to my last few bites of the muffin when Harry finally speaks up.  “So… what happened?”

I get my back up as my eyes narrow.  “What makes you think I want to tell you?”  I rudely respond.

Harry blinks, his eyes wide with curiosity.  His expression soft but blank.  He doesn’t often show if he’s hurt by my tone or maybe he’s gotten used to my attitude and continues to be persistent because he’s genuinely concerned.

I swallow the last bite of the muffin and I stare at him for a moment before softening my expression as I look away. 

I sigh.  “I blew it, Harry.  She found out about my addiction but it was accidental and at the worst possible moment for her to find out.”

“Did you… erm…”

“We were about to.”  I answer quickly, knowing exactly what he was asking.  “I was even about to tell her…”  I break off, turning to look at the floor as I chuckle in embarrassment.