Reckless Passion

Chapter 56

— Chapter 56 —

Song Themes For This Chapter: Slow – Grouplove; Let Love Be – Brighten

— Rose —

I clutch the duvet to my chest as I stare at the floor of my bedroom.  I had cried myself to sleep after Noah left my room; he didn’t want to leave me in my state but my father didn’t want him alone with me considering he categorized Noah as one of the people who has “corrupted” me.

I had woken up about ten minutes ago with the feeling of dried tears stained on my face.

I take my time getting dressed; I felt sick, like I wanted to stay in bed forever in my nightie but I wasn’t one to do that even when I was sick, I liked to get up and move around.  I put on one of my white sundresses with blue flowers on it that is tight around my torso but flares out over my hips and legs and reaches just above my knees in length.  I don’t bother with makeup; it’s not like I’m allowed to leave the house anyway.

My bare feet lazily carry me down the stairs, my mother’s voice registers; she’s talking to someone.  I put on a frown as I make my way towards the kitchen.

My mother is on the phone, her expression looks troubled but I refuse to let myself be concerned.  I walk past her to get to the coffee machine and start to brew up a cup for myself.  I would normally have a decent breakfast but considering the current circumstances, I wasn’t really hungry.

“Yes, I’ll tell her of course.  Take care, Mrs. Dawson.”  My mother says before hanging up the phone and automatically turning to me; her expression is grim.  She was talking to Peter’s mother.  Lovely. 

I just look at her and raise my eyebrows questioningly.

“Rose, honey… that was Peter’s mother that called.”  She swallows hard.

“Oh?”  I say somewhat sarcastically.  I heard her say goodbye, obviously I know she was talking to Peter’s mother.

She frowns and shifts her gaze around the room, avoiding my eyes.  I narrow my eyes in confusion as I start to consider this is something serious.

“Mother, what is it?”  I ask sternly.

She grits her teeth hesitantly as her eyes slowly meet mine again.  “I don’t know how else to tell you this, honey…”

“Oh my god, what is it?!”  I say, feeling annoyed.

“Peter’s body was found this morning.  The police say it was a murder.”

My eyes widen and it feels like I’ve suddenly forgotten how to breathe; my chest constricts, my heart starts to beat rapidly.  An illusion has been created where time seems to be standing still… I can’t think, speak, breathe, anything.

“Pete… Pe-… Peter was… m-murdered?!”  I croak before falling to my knees on the floor.  My mother instantly joins me on the floor and throws her arms around me, pulling me into her warm embrace.  She pets my hair as I stare into the distance; my hands are shaking in front of me.  This doesn’t feel real.  It can’t be real.

“Sweetie, I’m so, so sorry.  I wish it wasn’t real either.”  My mother soothes.  Did I say that out loud?  I wasn’t completely coherent.  My head felt light, my heart was still pounding in my chest.

Despite everything Peter has done recently, I felt an intense pain in my chest, in my heart.  How could he be dead?  Just the sentence being uttered in my head made my heart ache more.  My fingers clutched onto my mother’s blouse as I started to bawl into her shoulder.  Peter… my first love… was murdered.  Murdered.  No matter how horrible he’s been, he didn’t deserve to die that way.  He didn’t deserve to die so young.  I had ruined his life and made him so merciless in his last days and now he was never going to be able to turn his life around and be truly happy.