Reckless Passion

Chapter 37

— Chapter 37 —

Song Themes For This Chapter: Breathe Me – Sia; I Won’t Let Go – Rascal Flatts; Set The Fire To The Third Bar – Snow Patrol

— Rose —

I had taken a few of the anti-fertility pills and then Doctor Foster asked me to do my best to finish the tray of food sitting on the bed.  I was sitting up with the support of the pillow behind me and the raised, top part of the bed but I was resting all of my weight back against it.

Louis was still sitting beside me, the tray of food sitting in my lap as he scooped mashed potatoes onto the small spoon and fed it into my mouth.

I kept my eyes focussed on him, all the features of his beautiful face; his messy yet perfectly styled hair, the stubble covering his chin and stretching almost to his cheekbones, his long eyelashes... 

I faintly smiled.  I felt like I should feel happier than I did.  I was safe now and no longer being tortured by Rick and his men; but I felt deep sadness inside… I felt broken and unfixable.

Fingers slowly trail up my arm and I gasp and flinch away from the contact as a very brief image of Rick touching me flashes through my mind.

“Heyyy.  It’s okay.  It’s only me.”  Louis’ soft voice brings my attention back to him. 

He’s frowning and looks confused as his eyes intently search mine.

I avert my eyes, shaking my head a little.  “I-I’m sorry.”  My voice stutters as I feel the sting of tears in my eyes.

He lightly grips my chin and turns my face to look at him.  “You don’t have to apologize…”  His voice trails off before he adds, “I wish I could understand how you felt so I could be of more help to you.”

He cups my cheek, gently rubbing my skin with his thumb.  “I wish I could take all the pain away.”  He whispers.

I manage a small smile.  Louis was being so sweet to me.  It was very, very comforting having him be like this towards me in this situation.  I was glad that he was able to get in touch with his kind heart and bring out that sincerity and sweetness in him that I knew was always there.

“I know I’m not really the best listener or support system but I want you to know, I’m here if you ever want to talk to me.  If you need to get anything off your chest, or you want to tell someone exactly what happened, you don’t have to tell me, but if you want to… I’m here, Rose.”

My smile slowly faded.  My hand slightly trembled as I played with the material of Louis’ shirt.  “I still remember… Rick’s hand…”  I grimaced as I said his name.  “Touching me… groping me…  And the others…”  I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut and contorting my face at the memories.  “I keep wishing that the memories would just go away but instead they’re replaying in my head over and over.”

Louis wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him.  I dip my head and grip his shirt in both of my hands, letting out a few choked sobs.

“Shhh.”  He soothes while gently combing his fingers through my hair.  “I wish I could make it all go away, baby.  It’ll take time… but you’ll make it through this, baby.”

I turn my head so the side of my face is resting against his chest.  “I’ve never felt so humiliated and powerless in my life... their large, sweating bodies hovering over me as I laid naked and defenseless underneath them… I felt so violated and exposed in the worst possible way…”

“I love you, Rose.”

My eyes widened, his words having taken me completely off guard.  I lifted my head from his chest to look into his eyes.