Freedom {LGBT+}

19. Promises

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Phoenix slammed his fist against the wall. Not caring for the jolt of pain running up his arm. He was angry and most of all he was feeling stupid. Phoenix was angry at himself for what he did. It was stupid of him to go see Axton. What did he hope to achieve?.

It did him no good if he was only going to hear the crap that Axton spilled. Leaving him feeling guilty for something he choose to do. That was the most stupidest decision he's ever made. It didn't help in forgetting Ace. It only made him feel bad just thinking of how he could hurt Ace if he knew. 

Phoenix laid his back against the wall, sliding to the ground then pulling his knees close. It was true what Axton had said about the King. There was no way he would give the people here an actual winning chance. They couldn't get the Rubis' they needed even if they tried. Phoenix was just a lucky star to have met Axton. Maybe he wasn't so lucky now.

How did he know for sure they would allow Siobhan to leave after he's collected a thousand Rubis'. There was no way he was going to tell Siobhan, she would refuse even before he could finish. Phoenix was doing it so they could have something better. Soon enough he'll have Rocco, Rebel, Poppy and Gus out too. Even Stella and Nevaeh.

Axton words rung through his mind. What was different about Garrett District? What did it offer that Area fifteen couldn't?. Phoenix just didn't want them to be a caged bird anymore, they deserved to be free.

He didn't feel like going home just yet. Phoenix felt horrible about himself. Everything he's done upon to this point felt wrong, that it wasn't enough. That he wasn't good enough for anything.

How could Ace like someone like him?. Phoenix thought about his friend from his past. Ace reminded him of that friend and that scared him. The thought of getting close only to lose that person scared the living hell out of him. How could he like Phoenix when just to forget his own tormenting memories that he would lay with someone else.

It was foolish and it only made him think of Ace more. That he hurt him unintentionally. Phoenix dragged his hand along his face. Ace came into his life, showed him what he lost and what Siobhan and the others couldn't give him. A feeling that was starting to feel like it would never show itself.

Phoenix loved Gus and the others. But this was different. Ace made his hopes burn brighter. That the people here could have a chance in having a better life. He shared the same hopes as he did. He became someone Phoenix couldn't dismiss if he wanted to. And he hurt that person.

Phoenix reached for his pendant, wanting to know that things would be okay. His hands fell recalling he had left it back home.  He's kept himself at a distance all these years, even from Siobhan and the others. He didn't want to burden them with his own troubles, he never talked about his friend that he held dearly. Phoenix couldn't bring himself to stand close to them.

Ace was walking towards him. Seeing the Phoenix that was standing in the background all by himself. He desired to know him, every inch of him. Phoenix took a deep breath, standing to his feet then brushing himself off. He should return before Siobhan worries like she always does.

A stop to the book house would do great before he went home. He needed to build up back his cheery  demeanor. He couldn't let them see him like this. He moved slowly towards the book house, feeling like his energy had been drained.

Phoenix noticed that the sign he used as he door had been moved. It was his own little spot but that didn't mean it would keep away people. Thinking about it, Ace was the first person he hung out with here. Siobhan never came, always complaining it was too far away.

Rebel and the others would come only if Siobhan sent them to call Phoenix if he got caught up in books all night. Phoenix made way inside, seeing no one in sight. Maybe they left already, he thought.

He reached for the stack of books he had pile onto each other. Checking for the last book he read. "Phoenix," he came to know that voice well. Turning to ensure he wasn't just imagining it.

"Ace," he said. He wasn't the last person he expected to see but he was surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?"

"Thought I would read some books." Ace said while waving around a book. Phoenix cursed himself, why else would he be here?.

"Is it another book about dance?" He tried to joke. There was clearly something wrong with Ace. And the same with Phoenix. He took a deep breath, his guilt eating away at him. "Listen Ace--"

Ace stopped him, "Don't you think we danced well together?" He asked.

Phoenix placed the book he had taken up back onto the pile. "I stepped on your foot half the time. I still enjoyed it." Phoenix told him.

"Can we dance one last time?" Ace asked, wanting to take Phoenix's hand. "One last time before I give up?"

Phoenix didn't understand what he meant as he took his hand. He kept his head low, not wanting to dance, "What do you mean give up? What are you giving up on?"

Ace kept his gaze on the broken bookshelf. It was harder than he expected. "If I told you to dance with me forever would you?"

Phoenix allowed his hand to fall from Ace's hold. Looking up at him with a frown. "Stop speaking like that and tell me what you mean Ace."

"If I told you to leave that guy and be with me would you do it?" he said quickly, regretting his choice of words. He didn't want to sound possessive of Phoenix when he didn't have him.

"What guy are you talking about?" Phoenix said. The only guy Ace could be talking about was....."how do you know about that?"

Ace looked at Phoenix with saddened eyes, "I saw you when I was on my way here." he explained. "I followed you and then I saw."

Phoenix was frozen in place, unable to say anything. "No amount of apologies would do." Phoenix said, biting hard on his bottom lip.

"Would you?" Ace repeated. That was the only thing he wanted to know.

Phoenix closed the distance between them, desperately grabbing a hold of  Ace's shirt. "Don't ask foolish questions." Phoenix said. "Didn't I say I'll only learn to dance only if its with you?" Phoenix couldn't stop himself now. "I was scared okay. I was scared that if I go too close I'll forget about the important things. That I would lose someone again. I can't go through that again. I did something stupid and I'm sorry. "

Ace brought his hands around Phoenix, pulling him close, "Stella told me." he said. "She told me about your friend. You don't have to be scared and you don't have to worry about not being able to do well for the others. We already planned to make things better for everyone. We'll make sure that happens."

Ace was talking big again. Phoenix couldn't bring himself to tell him that it was impossible because even he believed it could happen.

"Promise me two things," Phoenix said as he snuggled up into Ace arm.

"What is it?"

"If you're hurting let me know," Phoenix said. "And don't die just yet."

Ace chuckled, making Phoenix frown. What he said was nothing short of funny. "I promise." Ace spoke. "Now you have to promise me something. Promise me that you won't do anything with that man again."

Phoenix released himself from the hug. "Should I do it with you from now on?" He teased.

Ace went red at the thought. There was still a lot for him to learn. "That's how it should be."

Phoenix pressed his lips against Ace, feeling a burst of emotions like a freshly bloomed flower. "I promise."  

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