Climax King

2.7

Rain. It always rains to accommodate the main characters feelings the night of a crucial experience. Well, the author of my goddamn storyline could stop being cliche, but clearly they have something crawled so far up their ass, they made it rain. God must hate me.

Tears of pure betrayal and pain leak from my eyes, staining this poor innocent pillow that has been through hell and back today. Me too buddy, me too.

I'm at that point where you talk to yourself in self deprecating doubt. It sucks that love can cause so many internal disputes between your mind and heart. I know I shouldn't be pissed, that or I should be, but we might not have even been together at the time and place of said betraying acts. I can sit and act like I didn't expect it, but let's be realistic here. I wasn't good enough for Josh, and now I'm not good enough for Finn. So where does that put me? Because I'm between crossroads here. I should have listened to my heart before becoming involved sexually with Finn. But I had pent up attraction, an undying lust for this male specimen who was capable of witchcraft in a sense of sexually pleasure. I can pretend it doesn't hurt, I could pretend I'm fine like people wouldn't expect. But that's a new level of coping that I'm not ready to approach. I want to suffer because I deserve it. I know I don't, I know none of this is truly my fault, but in times of pure pain and pessimistic thoughts, everything seems to be your fault even when someone else is to blame. Finn, is to blame. Not just him, but Georgie. The years Ken and I spent being a shoulder to cry on only seemed to be a mere memory meant to rot in Hell with the rest of my past.

I let out one last pathetic weep before two arms are wrapped securely around my body. The smell of lavender gave me enough information as to who my comforter was. Ken never ceases to be incorrect. But when you meet your soulmate at a young age, you know hatred can only last so long. Of course, it's not a romantic soulmate but I believe Ken and I are forever if no one else is. And that is all I need, even if I still have pure anger for what she has said to me, I love her with my entire heart.

"I'm so sorry," I repeatedly apologize as she rocks me gently. She quiets me down in a motherly fashion which only causes my nerves to truly settle. I don't have a mother or father as far as I'm concerned, but I have a Kennedy and in my opinion, that's all anyone needs.

"I'm sorry, Mena. You deserve better than this. You deserve the world, not the world, Mena. You deserve everything. I'm sorry for what I said."

I push off her gently and wipe away the stray tears that are rejecting their orders to leave me at once. "No, no. You were right. I did love his body. I'm sorry I've changed, that I'm mutated to this hormonal sex driven monster who was too blinded by abs and good looks to realize her own personality vanquishing before the eyes of poor innocent humans."

I hear a soft snicker from Ken, making my eyes raise to her in both confusion and anger. But her eyes widen immediately once she realizes the audible noise that escaped her. "No! Shit, I'm not trying to be bitchy. You're just really philosophical right now like you could write a book. Call you Shakespeare, you'll make millions."

I let out a groggy laugh. Crying can only do so much to your voice. But it felt nice to laugh, genuinely laugh. Not having to fake anything was a relief that I feel like I'd been gripping too tightly.

"Ken, what am I supposed to do Sunday? Finn literally lives with me, and we're on this trip and-"

She cuts me off immediately by covering her hand over my mouth. I pout, biting her flesh only for her to jerk her hand back. "Okay, gross, Mena. But I'm sure he'll get his shit and leave. You and I deserve a goddamn shopping spree. We're both relationshipless girls with damn fine bodies that are going to prom together."

My eyebrows raise as my face dries from all the burning tears. "We are?" I ask, sniffling away all signs of previous sadness to enhance my chances of forgetting. This is one of those moments you irk to forget and can only pray the traumatic experience truly gets rid of all self doubt that has developed in your mind.