Climax King

•5.0•

I couldn't stop smiling as Finn and I wander. We'd been doing it in every location. If we were simply walking around town, I'd probably hiss a fit because of exercise but being in another country made it feel more authentic. I wasn't looking at things I've seen every day of my entire life. The pictures I'd frequently look at served absolutely no justice.

Walking past people who this was absolutely normal to made it all the more interesting. People who travel to Bay View are probably as flabbergasted as I am. Bay View had plenty to offer with well forested areas and water that was stunning in the day light, but being a foreign visitor made it all the better.

"You look beautiful," Finn says as I tug him along.

He followed me like a lost puppy, and I felt terrible that my attention was on what surrounded me but I couldn't help it and I know he understands that.

I turn slightly, just enough to see him and still have my eyes on what's ahead. I'm someone who doesn't know how to take a compliment. I get absolutely anxious when anyone has nice things to say to me. It's like my entire body is shocked. I guess that's what I get for being an anti-social person who only talks to people if I'm intoxicated or I've known practically my entire life.

I probably should have thanked him, but nothing left my mouth as we continue. I was thankful, don't get me wrong. But thanking someone for complimenting me is just one of those things that makes me not uncomfortable, but just confused.

I'm probably digging myself a hole, but I don't think I'm hideous. Some days. But I can never see what there is about me that anyone could possibly admire. I guess the unrequited interest in a person builds the sense of insecurities.

If we were to look back on six year old Philomena, she thought she was the absolute shit. She had a lot of things going for her. Those sparkled shoes were a first grade favorite. Everyone wanted them, but if they got them you can best bet I'd pitch a fit.

However, dwelling on my past is not something I'm here to do. In fact, I'm here to live in the moment. I'm here with Finn, the last person I'd ever expect to be with, and I'm weaving rather skillfully through crowds of people who were probably judging me for all I know. Again, insecurities are poking their way through my flesh.

I come to a dramatic stop as I look around myself. It wasn't a crowded location, actually, there were less people than the Bay View population alone. I felt more safe to be honest. Maybe because I'm someone who finds comfort in smaller crowds.

"Finn," I say, nearly falling to my face as I look at every surrounding thing.

His arms snake around my waist gently as he rubs me to his side. "What?" He asks, pressing a soft kiss to my neck, nothing too sexual. Sadly. I mean, we're in public and I'm not trying to get arrested for public indecency.

"I love you," I state bluntly, not knowing how else to truly thank this guy for everything he's done in the past and what he's done now. Finn continues to surprise me. But I think part of me is scared that at the end of this trip, when we take our separate paths to college, things will be over. It might seem crazy but how many relationships really last after high school? We don't even know if Troy and Gabriella are still together like what the fuck?

"I love you too, baby," he replies, "And I know you like walking around but we should probably head back."

Just like the locations, whatever we were doing that day was completely devised by Finn. And if I wanted something else, he'd make sure we did that first however, sticking to his plans was my intentions. He brought me here so it only seems right to do what he wants even if what he wants is actually what I want. Does that make sense? I'm lacking Brian function in this current moment.