Climax King

2.8

Coming home to an empty house was all too familiar for me. Stepping off the bus to vacancy horrified me at first, but when your parents leave you to endless nannies some things just even out. But I didn't expect this horrid feeling to arrive so soon. His car, was gone. Just like everything I gave him, it had all diminished to thin air. I take a deep breath as I pull open the door. It was dead silent. The faintest of creaks could echo across the walls that held childhood memories that hav edible become faded.

I carry my bag from this weekend along with the newly purchased dress I splurged on for next weekend. As the door shuts with a loud bang, the reality of it sits in. I relied on someone once again, only for him to fuck me over.

I didn't dare go to my room just yet. I'm not emotionally prepared to see only my clothes scattered across the floor. I grab myself a glass and down as much water as possible. My throat seemed to tighten from the time I stepped in my front door, to the moment I stopped in the kitchen.

I could hold this off, sleep on the couch tonight, but my bed brought me comfort for so long that it seemed all too surreal to not rest there.

Slow steps are taken until I reach my bedroom. It was spotless. Everything was back in order, my clothes were folded neatly on my bed, my room smelled of fresh linen and no longer the smell of Finnly Quinton, the boy who brought me restless nights an over enjoyment. I approach my bed with caution. Rested on top of the freshly folded clothes had been a neatly folded note I presume. Every ounce of me dreaded the interior of such a fateful thing. He owed me more than a letter, but I'll never be able to approach him in person.

I unfold the letter as though it contained the fragile life of another innocent human being. My body rests on the bed, praying to the higher power that it some how cures the pure hatred irking my bones.

Philomena Grace,

I can sit here and pretend like things are okay. I could pretend that what happened at the lake house hadn't, but it did. And so did everything leading to that point. I owe you a lot, Philomena. I owe you my heart, my soul, but I can't give it to you. I've convinced myself that what I feel for you is love, and I know I do I just can't fall in love with you the way I want to, the way you deserve. Part of me believed that what I did was out of fear, out of self pity because someone like you made me feel all these swirling emotions. But all of me knows that the only reason I committed this betraying action, was because that's who I am. I can't commit to one single person. I tried for you, I tried for me, but what people don't realize is that I'm truly this way. I'm truly incapable of compassion, I act on lust and all things sadistic. I'm not asking for forgiveness because I don't deserve it. I'm asking you, to move on. Find someone worthy enough although no one can measure up to how much you truly deserve. You made my lonely nights alive, you made me feel all sorts of things that I felt to be so foreign and inhumane. But I cared about you, and you need to stay away from me. I'm toxic, Mena. Just don't talk to me, look at me, even think about me because in the end, I'm horrible for you. I'm cancerous and I've done enough to lead to this point to know it's the last time I'll say goodbye to you. I hope one day you'll think about us, and just smile. Because in the end, I fell for you, but I couldn't catch myself in the process.

Forever Your's,
Huckleberry Finn

•———•

My eyes pan across ever sentence, syllable, each letter that is staining my cheeks with hot streaks of tears. It took a lot of me to even finish this the first time, so why must I reread the pain and suffering? To find a hidden message? I want things to be normal, to have a normal boyfriend and a normal senior year but all things stray from normality. People I've grown to care for are incapable of coping with feelings, with emotions that give me confirmation of love. I fall in love too easily, all too easily that it's beginning to hurt less and less. Or so I thought, because loving or caring if more suitable for this common mistake, it was easy but it ended with heart break and misery.

It was time to get up when I finally realized it's been a painful and sleepless night. With less than two weeks left until my graduation, I couldn't miss another day. My attendance was definitely at a low these past months which definitely made up for lost time during my senior hell.

I took a rather long shower in hopes of removing the "toxic" touch of Finn's skilled caress but it's a feeling so impossible to remove that it might has well have been burned into my flesh. It seemed like nothing could make me forget his touch, his lips, the gentle touch of his loving hands. It's hard to imaging that just a couple days ago, I was happy. Truly, happy. Maybe not in love, but happy was enough for now. How I'm meant to face him today is truly beyond me. Things had finally started looking up until hell on earth became more than a term used in teen films and novels. How am I to put trust in people who are only letting me down? And would one day truly hurt?

"Knock knock! By the way, you should probably lock your doors when you go to sleep because people like us can just barge in with off bran Starbucks."

I turn my attention to the two female specimen standing in my doorway as I apply only concealer to hide my sleepless eyes. I conjure up a smile that is incapable of reaching my eyes. "Yeah, maybe."

Orie plops down on my bed, her eyes traveling around my room. "No offense, Mena, but I kind of expected floral prints and weird Shakespeare quotes." She shrugs, her eyes drawing back to me as a smile plays on her lips.

I let out a soft laugh, twisting into an awkward position so I could face the two girls who although in a rather short period of time, had become my closest friends I think I'll ever have. Yes, Ken and I have been close for years but we've just recently come against our differences and managed to become closer to a girl who I don't think we'd have ever met if Finn hadn't fucked up.

"There was time, Orie, where my room looked exactly like that. But then I felt bad for fucking in an innocent looking room so shit changed," I truthfully say in hopes of not having to describe my sexual encounters because it will truly embark on a depressing mission that I cannot go down this early in the morning.

Ken extends her hand with a code that had my name written across the top. I thank her, watching as Orie glances around my room once more. "This suits you better," she shrugs, falling back onto my bed.

"So, I know this is so out of character for me, but since Carter and I just called it quits, I say we take a day off." Kennedy smiles, sitting down next to the relaxed, tension free Orie who was tiredly staring up at my ceiling.

I nod in pure agreement. My grades although not perfect, are rather decent enough to not pass me. So what is one last day? Hell, I'd come in senior skip day if it made me get away with so many absences.

"So, what do you presume we do on said day off?" I ask, spinning in a circle effortlessly.

Orie rests on her elbows with a vibrant smile. "Everything."

•——–•

Sorry this is short. My WiFi got shut off again so I really don't know when the next update will be. I can't even talk to the one person who makes me laugh, smile, because I don't have data either. In case you're confused, previous chapter in my lil a/n I said there is this guy that fuuuucks me up. Yeah, he snapped me which sucks because I can't really reply unless I'm at my grandmas or binging off of someone's hotspot which is plain rude yanno? Sorry for rambling lmao.

Thanks for 8k tho! And all this positive feedback I love opening wattpad to all your votes, comments, adding to your lists it truly is amazing how many of you like this shitty story

Go check out my other works:

•Summer Sex
•2,213.3 Miles Away
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•Poor Living Conditions