A Little bit of Shade

S E V E N

*time jump*

I woke up in my own bed, alone. The past few weeks have constantly been spent with the guys.

I roll out of bed and go to the bathroom. I brush my hair, brush my teeth, and redo my messy bun. I slide deodorant over my under arms and walk into the kitchen. I decide to make a peanut butter and banana, whole wheat bagel.

I sit down, turning on my Netflix. I play season 7, episode 12 of greys anatomy. This show is my shit, don't even hate. My phone dings. I set my food down and pick it up. I was tagged in an Instagram photo. Jack posted a photo of me drinking my hot chocolate, without me knowing. I leave a comment.

@KylieMatt: Ew I actually hate you omg

I go back to watching my show and eating my food.

•••

Curly🍟: come outside

I get up and look out the balcony door. Jacks car was in one of the visitor parking spots in the complex. I grab my sunglasses and slip on my Nike slides. I lock the door behind me and head down to his car, getting in the front seat.

"You actually look crazy" he laughs, looking at my outfit. "What? Are my track pants and tank top not up to your standards?" I laugh.

"What's up anyways?" I ask. "I wanted food and thought about you" he smiles and starts driving. "It's 8:28pm, you're just eating dinner now?" I ask. "I never said it was dinner" he laughs. "Also when you think of food, you think of me?" I laugh. "Yeah of course, we always eat together" he laughs. "This is why I'm fat" he looks over at me. "Shut up! You're not fat" he says. He looks back to the road. "You're trying to beef me up" I say. "I am not"

"We're going to McDonald's, I'm craving their fries" he says, pulling into a McDonald's parking lot. "Good, I love the fries"

We go inside and order on the machines. "I'm paying btw" he says, putting in his order. "Great" I put in a large fri, a chicken wrap, and a large fruit topia. I press pay here. He swipes his card and takes the recite. We wait for our food and fill up our drinks.

The woman hands us the bag of food and he leads me back to the car. "Where to next?" I ask. I hold the bag on my lap as he drives. "We're going to our spot" he smiles. "Yay!" I squeal.

Our spot is at the beach. There are a ton of rocks leading to the lighthouse. We usually sit on one and watch the waves. It's always been calming and peaceful. We made it our spot after I showed him it. Not that it's super secret or anything, lots of people know about the beach. For some reason, we always eat when we're here.

We park and race each other to the rocks. I climb up first, bolting across all of the boulders, making sure not to fall in between them. I can run across them really quickly, since I come here a lot and always go out to the lighthouse. I find the big, flat rock and sit on the edge. The sun was just starting to set. Jack plops down beside me and I grab out all the food.

We ate, quietly watching the sunset. It was so calming. I wanted to be in this moment forever.

"I needed this" Jack sighs. "The band has been stressful lately" I look over at him. "What's going on?" I ask. "We're making a new music video and we are planning a tour" he says. "Jack, that's amazing! I'm so proud of you" I cheer. "Yeah it is, but it also sucks. I'm gonna have to leave for tour in three months" he looks down at his burger. "That's ok, my school will start by then" I say. Should I mention it's in Seattle?

"You never told me you were going to school" he looks over at me. "Did you really think I'd work in a bookstore for the rest of my life?" I chuckle. "Well... no" he looks out to the horizon line. "I'll be occupied anyway, it'll work out" I say, shoving two fries in my mouth. "You're right" he sighs. "I always am" I nudge him, causing him to smile.

"The stars are almost out" I change the subject. "That's the best part of the night" he lays down. "Agreed" I lay next to him.

I've always watched the stars to get out of my stressful family situations. My brother verbally abused me while growing up. My parents worked a lot, not being around much. They finally, after years of fighting and unhappiness, got a divorce when I was 15. My mother left, never to be seen again. I was left with a misogynistic, hypocritical, dumb ass father and a self hating, abusive, also hypocritical, and misogynistic brother. Although my mom was insane and was on steroids medically. We were super close.

She always said "the only reason I didn't leave your father years ago was for you" so why did she leave at 15? I wasn't old enough to leave. I spent 3 years working just so I could move away.

People thought my life was great because I could go out whenever I wanted and always have people over. Yeah I could do that because my parents were never around, they didn't care or knew what I was doing all night. They left for work before I got home from school and don't get home until 3-4 am. I leave for school before they wake up. Yet, I didn't want to sneak out all night or go do anything crazy. All I ever did was go to school and work.

I never had much friends. I was always a quiet person just trying to get through school. As soon as I graduated high school, I moved out here. Away from my father and brother whom I don't talk too. They don't even know where I am. I moved here to change my life. I wanted to be a different person. Someone who doesn't hold on to their past and someone who is friendly, outgoing. Even if it is all an act.

But Jack. Jack makes it all real when I'm with him. He knows about my family, although we didn't talk long. He makes me happy. I can't even think of what's going to happen to us in August, it's going to be the worst moment in my life.

We laid there watching the stars for an hour, before he took me home.

"Goodnight, I love you" I say, getting out the car. "I love you too, be safe" I shut the door and walk into my complex.

_________________________________

Tbh this character is me. Like the backstory is dramatized slightly, my mother didn't leave but everything else happened/happens still.

-Ann