A Little bit of Shade

S E V E N T E E N

"It's in Seattle"

I hear a few gasps, but not from Jack. Jack was still frozen, starring at me. It was like he was looking into my soul and slowly ripping my heart out.

"So that means you have to move?" Daniel asks quietly. The room was so quiet, it was like he was yelling. "Yeah, I move August 15th" my voice cracks. "That's so soon" someone whispered.

Jack still hasn't moved. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, as well mine. All I wanted to do was run into his arms and hug him, but I know if I go near him he will break down.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Corbyn breaks the silence. "I just- I'm not good with emotions so it's always been easier for me to just leave" I explain, more tears pour out my eyes, but I try my best not to break into sobs.

"You were just going to leave without saying goodbye?" Jack asks. I finally make eye contact with him. "I would have said goodbye when you left for tour. It would just be good bye for longer than a few months" by now I'm sobbing, my voice is wavering. "I can't believe you" he snarls.

"I didn't want this to happen" I motion between us. "You're so selfish" he says. I stop and look at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to see this happen. I've never had to do anything like this. When I left my brother and father, I just left and I don't think they were sad when I did" I cry.

"This isn't the same as that!" He yells. Everyone jumps from the sudden volume change. "We're not people who are pushing you away! We want you to stay and you're just gonna run?"

"I'm not running!" I yell. "I can't do this. I've never had this relationship with anyone so I don't know how to do anything" I explain.

"We're not your father or brother, we're your family. We care about you. We want to know if you're leaving" Jack cautiously walks towards me. "I know, I'm sorry" he grabs me and wraps his arms around my shoulders. I lean my head into his chest and let out the sobs I was holding.

I've never dealt with something like this, so I don't know what to do. I knew they would be mad when they found out I left, but at least I wouldn't have to face them. Also I'm scared, I'm scared that we're going to drift apart and I'd rather just stop it when they leave rather than go through the slow pain of watching them forget me. I know they will forget me once they're touring.

"I just don't want to have to deal with us slowly drifting apart since I can't come with you" I mumble. He pulls away slightly. I realize no one has moved, they were all just watching us. Even Gabbie was tearing up slightly.

"Just because we may be apart for four years doesn't mean anything. Everyone leaves for college and comes back to their family. Things may change slightly, but we will always be here for you. On breaks you can come stay with us at the house and we will still talk all the time" he explains. I nod. "Okay"

"No matter what happens, you come back to us, okay?" He asks. "I will" he kisses my forehead. "Good, now lets go tubbing" I laugh and pull myself out of his arms. "I just have to change first" I go to my room.

"Hey," I turn away from my dresser and look to Daniel. He was leaning against the door frame. "You're really leaving?" He asks. I sigh. "Yeah, I have to go to school" I say. "I know, but why can't you go to a school here?" He asks. "Daniel, this writing school is the best in the country. This will start my career and I've already been accepted. I have an apartment that I'll be staying at and I've already paid the deposit" I explain.

"I just don't want you to leave" he comes towards me, stopping right in front of me. "I don't want to leave either" I look up at him. "What will happen with us?" He asks. I chuckle. "There is no us" he frowns. "You can't tell me you didn't feel anything in that kiss"

"I just- I don't want to start something that ends in less than two months. It's hard enough to leave as is, I don't want to fall in love and have to deal with that too" I explain, breaking eye contact. "I don't know what will happen but I like you and I want to spend more time with you" he directs me by my chin to look up at him. "I like you too" I smile. "Well then, let's spend our time together and when it ends, it ends"

"Okay, but you can't fall in love with me" I laugh. "Okay, I promise not to fall in love with you if you won't fall in love with me" he laughs.

"Now get out, I have to change" I pull his hand away from my face and turn to my dresser. "Okay," he laughs and walks back towards the door. "Bye babe" he winks and leaves. I smirk and grab my suit, closing the door and changing.

****

"How the hell did you not fall off?!" Gabbie asks Jonah. "I don't know!" Jonah laughs.
Jonah switches off the boat driving with Corbyn.

"Ok Kylie, come with me" Daniel says, grabbing a life jacket and throwing it on. I grab a small and throw it on. "Okay" he helps me onto the tube. "Lean on your knees and hold on to these handles" he points and I follow his instructions. "You have to hold on tight or you'll fly off immediately" he laughs. "I should be the one worried about you falling off immediately" I laugh. "You're so competitive" he smirks at me. "You have to be when you grow up with guys"

The boat starts up again as we slowly get dragged. "Let's see who falls off first" "Bet?" "Bet."

We go over a few waves and we bounce slightly. I regrip the handles and fix my stance. "You good?" Daniel asks. "Great" I smile to him.

We hit a few more waves until one from another boat comes. It was huge and Jonah took us right over it. I feel the tube lift underneath me. We were up about 5 feet off the water. The tube wobbled in the air, until it flipped over. I let go and fell off the side.

The water surrounded me as a sunk slightly. I slowly resurfaced and saw Daniel a few feet back. "You let go first!" I yell. "If I didn't, I would have drown" he yells back.

They looked around and came back to pick us both up. "Are you okay!?" Jack asks, running over to me. "Yeah, I won!" I laugh. Relief washes over him. "Won what?" He asks. "The bet to see who'd fall off first" I take off the life jacket and grab my towel, wrapping it around my body.

"Lets go swimming" Zach suggests. I set up my towel and decide to tan. "Come swim?" Daniel asks. "I will later" I roll onto my stomach and rest my chin on my hands. I watch as they all jump in and laugh.

How can I leave this?