(Warning: Mentions of incest, mentions of rape, abuse, suicide. And, of course, angst. This isn't very good, I rushed it just to get it out, because at this point I have to force myself.)
We all find that special someone.
Zane never believed in true love. He had never been in love, to say the least. Maybe that was why he had such a difficult time feeling things for other people, because he had no one outside of family to care for him or his feelings. No one really cared about people's feelings nowadays, so Zane had resorted to bottling up his emotions.
That made him a social recluse, locking himself in his room for hours every day. He refused to answer any questions or ask any, so his grades weren't as good as either of his brothers' were. He wasn't even all that active either. He hated sports, or doing anything with other people. He had become determined to go through life on his own. He went from someone who had an idea of how to love to someone consumed by hatred.
When he thought about it, he wasn't much better than Gene.
Gene had been Zane's idol back in high school. He was the one person Zane thought could understand him, even remotely coming close to it. Maybe Zane felt a little more than admiration for him, but every time he was pushed away and shot down. He still had scars from back then, marks from every time Gene had hit him. He even had marks on his mental state and self-esteem, to s highly destructive level.
He had been taking out his anger on his brothers and his classmates. He had lashed out at them with hatred, pushing them away and isolating himself. Hatred for not getting into Gene's gang, for becoming blind in one eye, for himself. That was the one thing Zane truly hated, himself.
He tried countless things, but nothing he ever did made him good enough for his family. They told him to be more social, but they never let him go anywhere. He had turned to RPG and online games to make friends, but when his family found out they kept pestering him about child predators. Since he couldn't be as smart or active as either of his brothers, he would be less out of the way than they were. So he restricted himself to his bedroom as much as possible, but even then he felt like he was in the way.
It wasn't until he came out to them about being gay that it got worse.
He could remember the looks on their faces, his father and brothers. His mother hadn't known he was gay, and he had never told her after what happened that day. His father hadn't done anything to him, he had actually been supportive of Zane. So was Vylad. It wasn't them that he was afraid of. It was Garroth.
Zane didn't know when it happened, but he was in Garroth's room. He had been pushed down onto the bed, with his older brother looming over him.
"So... you like having a dick up you?" Garroth had asked, narrowing his eyes at him. "How about I show you what that feels like..."
Zane felt so disgusting, covered in a filth that could never be washed away. A permanent tainting on his soul, rotting away at his brain. A shadow that followed him around, a constant reminder of what would happen to him. He wasn't the only victim of that behavior, though. And it didn't just stop there, whenever he did something wrong Garroth would hit him.
When he graduated from high school, things got a little better. That is, until he got sent to the same university as Garroth. The abuse and rape weren't as bad as they had been, but they were still horrible.
He was free of the rape when he became an adult. YEah, he still lived by Garroth and them, but he didn't get raped by his older brother anymore. The abuse has decreased at a great amount, to only an occasional beating. It had fully stopped after the events at the lodge.
The trauma and damage never left.
He kept thinking that it was his fault it all happened. If he had never come out to his family, if he had just stayed blocked off, none of this would've happened. It was his fault. (No it ain't ZuZu)
And now, standing in front of his high school crush, he realized just how pointless his life was.
"Z... Zane.....!?" Gene gasped, lowering his gun.
"Gene.... I should've known there was something strange about your visit to Starlight." Zane sighed, glaring at the GF badge on his arm.
"I.... I didn't know..." He said slowly, taking off his helmet. "Aaron.... the Lycan Family.... is it true?"
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't." He shrugged, looking over the side of the building. "It really depends on whether or not you believe."
"You should... you should step away from the ledge." He advised, gulping a bit. "It's a long fall down."
"I loved you, Gene. I loved you more than anything." Zane confessed, speaking louder as the wind picked up. "Part of me still loves you, even if you're part of the GF."
"Zane.... Zane, what are you about to do?" Gene asked nervously, taking a step towards him.
Zane stepped back in response. "Tell mg family that I'm sorry I couldn't be perfect."
"Zane no!!" He cried, running towards him.
Zane jumped off the edge of the rooftop, beginning the plummet to his death. He felt arms around him, and his eye met Gene's. He had left his helmet and gun on the rooftop, and Zane could hear people in outbreak below them.
"What are you doing, you dumbass?" Zane asked him, crossing his arms.
"Zane, there's something you need to know." Gene responded, starting to blush.
"Might wanna make it quick, we're getting pretty close to the ground." He pointed out, eyeing below them.
"I love you too." He confessed, giving Zane a kiss on the lips.
Zane's eye widened in shock, and his memories told him to push the other away. But he didn't. If he was going to die, he would enjoy his last moments of life. That, and to be honest, he actually enjoyed the kiss quite a bit.
They never broke the kiss, even when they hit the ground.
