Destined For the King

Fresh start

Let's just jump straight into the chapter...BTW thanks everyone for the 124k reads!!!! BUT LET'S GET THOSE VOTES UP!!!! 

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After our argument, there was nothing else to say. My little outburst was enough to reconsider our entire lives. This whole event has been a rollercoaster for the both of us and unfortunately because of our urge to hate one another, we lost ourselves in the process. As I went into my room and into the bathroom that night, the image I saw in the mirror isn't an image I ever want to see again.

The girl I saw was filled with hatred. Eyes wide from all rage and resentment. I saw a girl who was filled with a nasty attitude and disrespect. I saw a girl looking for revenge and willing to bring anyone down to achieve it. 

I failed to see the free-spirited girl I once knew. The girl with sass but is the most gentle and loving person you could ever come across. I miss the girl who enjoyed waking up in the morning and carried that same excited energy throughout the day. I lost myself in this mess, and I didn't know if I have what it takes to bring that girl back.

Bringing that side of me back means doing something I don't think I have the stomach to do. It means ditching whatever feelings I have towards Dominic and this whole ordeal and finally committing to him; committing to us. It means letting go of all my hate and resentment. Truth be told, I was never a vengeful soul. I never had any hate in my body. The feeling of hate always kept me up at night so I rather stay clear of it all. If I never liked someone, I totally disengage with them. I can't in this case. The man I disliked is the man I am meant to marry.

So what is the point of fighting this all? I've been so consumed with all the hate that I've dragged my family into this as well and look where it got me. I ended up in the place where I've been fighting to leave. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. 

Maybe it is time...To give in.

Waking up the next morning seemed to be the hardest task of the day. You wake up to seconds of bliss and peace until the past rushes back into your mind. The decision I made last night hasn't changed the moment I woke up. I'm tired of waking up and not noticing the girl in the mirror. She isn't me. I can fight this fight forever and it won't make me any happier and it won't help my situation. I was so deep in hate that I was willing to do anything to frame Dominic as a cheater. He may have a flirtatious past, and I am sure as hell not forgiving him for that woman at the mall but I needed to make something in my life work. I am not giving up, but I refuse to waste time on a fight with no outcome. If I cooperate to my fullest abilities and things still don't work out then I am free with no guilt. If I don't try...

 I'll be lost in the past forever. 

In order for this to work...I had to make a new deal. A better deal. One that isn't trapping or forcing us to commit to things we don't want. We need a new revised and upgraded pact. That's the only way things will work.

I found Dominic in his study after breakfast. Not surprisingly, I ate alone in the dining room because Dominic was swamped with work. His office door was wide open when I stopped by and he looked as if a train as ran through his office. Papers were scattered all over his desk and floor. The room reeked of scotch and brandy from the three empty bottles laying on the floor by the lounge couches. There was a blanket thrown across one couch and a few pillows on the floor. I don't think he slept in his room last night.