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» What's Been Happening. «

This is Important.

Though I don't think many will see this but I think people do.

The year of 2017, was a terrible year in general and obvious to some people, 2018 is getting worse.

Unfortunately, my family, mostly my parents, have been noticing unusual behavior from me. Which, I must admit, it's kind of upsetting, since i was like this for a year or two.

As some may know, I have a love for writing, especially since I have several book ideas saved and some in progress.

However, lately I haven't been updating as much as I used to.

I've said this before, where I was gonna make a book about my past and I've have been working on that, as well as several others.

For Realism, I have three chapters already ready to update and publish.
I Love You has two chapters.
Be Mine has two.
Angel has one.
His Charms has two.
Lastly, Steal My Heart has one.

As you can see, I have been pretty busy, and most of these, since I rarely had time during the day, I'd stay up at night to work on it for you guys, even though I haven't been updating lately, I've worked on the stories.

However, I won't be publishing any of them for a bit, since they aren't of the best quality, and best thing I have.

My point is, is that like I said earlier, my parents notice some behavior from me. They've notice me always frowning, having a blank stare or just not smiling at all.

Which is true. This year, honestly, has not been going right for me at all. My arms, hands and legs ache in pain due to certain personal reasons, i haven't been ever getting time to myself much, and I just feel like I'm suffering and falling down a bottomless pit.

The unfairness things I have from my siblings is amazing. My parents always told us that we were allowed to get anything we wanted, if we asked, and of course, we didn't take advantage of that, however, some of the things I asked for, weren't even my choice. Being forced to ask for it by others is just fantastic.

Once I asked for something that I actually wanted, which I think will make me happy, it's an immediate decline to it.

Not only have I not been happy, I've never felt great. I felt like a slave in my own home, being treated poorly by a few of my family members.

My father, someone I love and admired for several years of my life, not wanting to be separated from him, he recently has been in a good mood. He's always messing around and playing with me, since he knows I'm not smiling as much as when I was a kid, and he does that because my siblings and I don't get to go out and hang with friends, which resulted in social awkwardness and always wanting to stay indoors.

However, my mother. I one hundred percent, believe she dislikes me. Like I've said before, I'm always yelled at and blamed by her, for not doing things right or for always frowning and not smiling like some weirdo.

Part of the reason for my behavior has been because of her. Surprising, huh?

Then there is my other family. Aka, grandma, grandma, aunts, uncles etc.

Well not too long ago, my aunt left. She left a couple states away, and it makes me sad because my parents are struggling more without her help. She left and seems much happier and better which I think is great, but the fact that I can't see her everyday anymore is upsetting.

Then I have my grandpa.

As of April 2017, I can clearly say that I won't ever be seeing him again.

At age 72, he passed away while I was in school. How he died is unknown to me but it pains me that I won't ever see him for the rest of my life.

It pains me to know how young he died, and that how his disappearance affected me greatly and I realized that I should've showed more gratitude and care for him then I did before.

It's only a year ago but it seems like it's been so long and it just scares me.

What makes me even sadder, is that my older siblings and I are getting older, and soon my brother is off to college which means I won't have much time with him nor do my parents do.

I apologize for this not being an update, but I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm gonna go on break. I'm not very happy, and I'm just having deep thoughts. A lot is going on and so many things are going through my head. School is starting soon as well.

If you guys can forgive me and understand, I'll feel better.

For now..

Goodbye.