Quinn: Happy Labor Day everyone! We're back with the last part of our Spamilton reaction! Say hello, guys!
Peggy: HELLOOOOOOO!
Laurens: *two finger salute*
Hamilton: Welcome back, everyone!
Quinn: So let's get right to it. This is the finale of Spamilton, and it's called "Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Cries".
*Gun Shot*
Stay alive...
Stay alive...
Stay alive.
Peggy: She kinda sounds like you, Eliza.
Eliza...
Peggy: Oh.
I finally get to be more than a puppet;
I get the last saying.
(She finishes our story.)
Hamilton: *squeezes Eliza's hand affectionately*
Eliza: *smiles and kisses his hand*
There's a lot I have to rap up!
There's 525, 000 words in this play,
but I can't take too long 'cause were running out of time
My sister Angelica, expires-
Schuyler sisters: whAT?!
-and makes me cry.
And I'm still not through,
I'll tell you everyone dies and I'll make you cry!
My son dies just like Alexander-
Hamilton: WE HAVE A SON?!
Eliza: I didn't know! And he dies? Like you?!
-and my clinically depressed daughter. It's so sad you'll cry!
Hamilton: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!
That's all after Martha Washington lives on with her feral tomcat 'Hammy'
who gets eaten by Jefferson's dog.
Who dies of rabies!
Jefferson: Not Secretary Squishypaws!
Everyone: *in complete panic and sobbing*
Like Marie Antoinette, and you'll be so confused you'll cry!
I raise funds in D.C. for the Washington Monument!
(But it cracks and needs repair and we cry!!)
Everyone: *still sobbing*
Just when you think I can't wrench more tears out of you, I tell you about–
*deathly silence*
(The orphanage...)
I established the first private orphanage in New York City.
Everyone: *in time to the song* (Aww... the orphanage!)
I help to raise big, healthy orphans.
YOU ARE READING
Hamilton Reacts to Stuff!!
FanfictionTitle says it all. (This book is completed, and requests will no longer be taken. Thank you!)
