My Idol

one

Seoul, South Korea.

~ ♡ ~

After standing in front of that map for probably ten minutes, staring at the dart, the word Seoul, making sure you were reading it correctly, you nodded, and reminded yourself that you wanted to start over.

You sighed, and went to find your suitcase. You didn't have a lot to pack, you weren't worried about most of the stuff you had here, it could all be replaced. You didn't want the memories attached to it anyway.

You threw in a few pairs of jeans, three pairs of shorts, four skirts, several t-shirts and a few blouses, as well as some sweaters, a cardigan and your hoodies, and finally, undergarments and socks. You grabbed the three pairs of sneakers you owned, your flip flops and one pair of heels, and stuck them in, then ran to the bathroom and grabbed your toiletries. You juggled them in your arms as you hurried to the kitchen for a plastic bag, in case anything leaked, dumping everything in and zipping it closed. You stuck the plastic bag in your suitcase. You found your laptop and charger, sliding them in between some clothes, and forced it closed.

You were breathing harder then normal, but you knew it was just anxiety building. You had never done anything like this before. Here you were, packing a suitcase for a trip to another country, where they spoke a language you didn't understand, lived a way of life you knew nothing about, and quite possibly, were not fond of foreigners.

You shook your head. Stop trying to talk yourself out of it.

You looked around. You wanted to say you'd miss this place. You knew you wouldn't. You grabbed your stuffed tiger off the bed, the only thing you had with you from your childhood, and picked up your suitcase. Then you proudly walked out the door for the very last time.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You walked to the bank because it was only 5 blocks away. Once you had retrieved your passport from your safe deposit box, you called a taxi to get a ride to JFK airport. You weren't sure how soon you'd be able to get a flight to Seoul, but it didn't matter, you'd rather wait at the airport then be anywhere else.

Forty five minutes later you were at the ticket counter, purchasing a one way ticket to Incheon Airport. Your flight leaves in 4 1/2 hours.

You sat in one of the empty seats in the terminal, and tried not to be scared. But you were terrified. How were you going to be able to communicate with anyone. You pulled out your phone, and decided to Google some information. An hour later, you were feeling a little better. Apparently, english is a second language of South Korea.

For the remaining hours, you tried to learn a few korean phrases you thought might be helpful. But you soon came to realize that there is more than one way to say almost everything. There's a polite or formal way, a casual way, there's honorifics, and pronunciation was everything. You were so confused that you gave up.

An hour before your flight was to take off, you headed to the snack station and grabbed a few chocolate bars to stick in your shoulder bag. Then you waited for the announcement that your flight was boarding.

You paced by the big windows facing the runways, and at one point asked yourself if you were crazy... because surely you must be. What on earth were you doing? Maybe you should just go back home and...

FLIGHT 456E TO INCHEON NOW BOARDING, PLEASE PROCEED TO GATE 5 AND HAVE YOUR BOARDING PASSES AND IDENTIFICATION READY.

No, you were doing this. You inhaled deeply, holding it for several seconds before exhaling. You needed to do this. You stuffed your tiger in your shoulder bag, and grabbed your suitcase, following the crowd toward gate 5. This was the beginning of the rest of your life. It isn't like you were going to live in Korea forever. You just needed a place where no one knew you...a place where you could find yourself, because you weren't even sure you knew who you were anymore. You'd be back, someday.

You finally boarded the plane and found your seat. There was an elderly couple in the two inside seats. You were glad to have an aisle seat. You hated the thought of having to squeeze past them should you need the bathroom, and you knew you would. You stuck your bag in the overhead compartment, and took your seat. The couple next to you were looking thru a magazine, and you assumed they must be going on vacation.

You leaned your head back on the seat, and closed your eyes. You wondered what your boyfriend would think when he realized you were gone. Would he even realize? It wouldn't surprise you if it took him weeks to notice, and you were sure he wouldn't care once he did.

You couldn't help but smile. It felt amazing to be able to do what you were doing. Who knew that all that money you had saved for college would be exactly what you needed to save yourself...

You were still terrified of the unknown. You were so afraid that once you got where you were going, you'd still be lost, and not know which road to take to begin to find yourself. But you had to start somewhere. What's that saying... "the road to greatness begins with your first step..." Something like that anyway.

THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING, WE ARE PREPARING FOR TAKEOFF. PLEASE TURN YOUR CELL PHONES OFF AND FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS.

You reached for your seat belt, clicking it closed, taking a deep breath to calm yourself. You were again glad you weren't near the window. If you looked out, you may have panicked. It's funny how you just wanted to forget everything, leave your old life behind, but at the same time, you had never been more scared of change in your entire life.

This was a 14 hour flight. You planned to try to stay awake for as much of it as you could. You had looked up the time zone difference. It was 5:20pm here on the east coast, which meant it was 6:20am tomorrow in Korea already. So it would be somewhere around 8:30pm there when you landed. But you knew your body would think it was 7:30am if you slept now, and then you'd be up all night. So sleep needed to stay far away from you right now.

The plane started to move. You closed your eyes, and waited to feel the plane lift off. When you opened them, you realized you were in the air, and you hadn't even noticed lift off. You suddenly felt a twinge of excitement at the thought of this adventure you were setting off on.

You dug out your earbuds and your phone, having put it in airplane mode, and opened your music downloads. You really didn't listen to music as much as you used to. You weren't even sure what your taste in music was anymore. You clicked on an old playlist, and hoped that it didn't put you to sleep. You grabbed a magazine, and started flipping thru it. After an hour or so, you started to doze, so you killed the music and tossed the magazine back in the pocket.

You looked around at the other passengers. Some of them were Asian, Korean you assumed. Made sense. This was a non stop flight, so everyone on it was headed to Incheon Airport. You knew once you arrived, you would have to take a train for another hour, just to get to Seoul. Then you didn't know what you were going to do. You sighed. You'd figure it out when you got there.