My Idol

eighteen

"It's too late, I'm already involved with her."

~ ♡ ~

Jimin looked at me uncertainly. "What do you mean Tae? You've only known her two days, how involved can you possibly be?"

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes, debating whether or not to tell him. But I should have known better.

"Oh my God Tae..." Jimin has always been able to read me, and I could never keep things from him even if I wanted to. But I didn't want to, I wanted to talk about it. "You've already slept with her?" He stood, taking a few steps then turning back to look at me.

I looked up, looking into his eyes, hoping for understanding. I wasn't disappointed. His expression went from one of disbelief to one of tenderness.

"How, Tae..." he shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut, "never mind, I know how, just...why? I'm not judging you Tae, but...help me understand."

I looked away, losing focus on my surroundings as I pictured y/n, and tried to vocalize how she made me feel. I wasn't real good with words to begin with.

"I don't know Jimin, I don't know how to explain it." I closed my eyes, trying to find the words, and it made it a little easier. "When I look at her, it's like there's no one else around, even if we're in a crowd. When I feel her hand in mine, I know that it's the only one that will ever fit there perfectly. When she laughs, it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. When I have to leave her, it's physically painful to walk away, it literally feels like something is holding me back, and it's getting harder to do every time." I opened my eyes, looking up, to see Jimin watching me, his expression one of wonder. "I feel like I've finally found where I belong, and I wasn't even searching."

Jimin stood there, staring at me for several seconds, before walking over to sit back down next to me, a smile lighting up his face. "I've never seen you like this before."

I turned my head to look at him, wanting him to know I meant what I said. "I've never felt like this before."

"Okay, so, like, when did this happen? When did you know? Its literally only been two days since you met her."

I thought back to the night Namjoon had brought her to the arcade. I remembered turning around, and seeing her for the first time, feeling my heart jump in my chest. My throat had gotten dry, and I had swallowed trying to moisten it, but it was like there was cotton in my mouth.

"Honestly, I felt something the second I first saw her, and I guess I tried to ignore it. But I was drawn to her."

Jimin took a breath in thru his nose, then exhaled the same way, his lips drawn into a thin line. "So... how'd you end up..." he hesitated briefly.

"Sleeping with her?" I finished for him.

"Yeah..."

"Well it's not like I planned it. It just...happened." I ran my fingers through my hair.

Jimin raised his eyebrows at me. "Elaborate please." He never was one to shy away from the details, no matter how personal they might be.

I rolled my eyes at him, knowing he wouldn't give up until I had told him.

"Last night, after the meeting, I had gone to her room, and we'd ordered takeout and had it delivered. Everything was fine, until she asked me what I did for a living. I tried to brush it off, but she persisted."