My Idol

thirty three

You looked at Taehyung, at his beautiful, trusting, happy face, and felt more love than you'd ever felt before for anyone. You weren't going to think about anything else right now, except for how much you loved him, how his happiness meant more to you than anything, and how you would do anything, just to see him smile, even if that meant letting him go.

~ ♡ ~

The two of you spent the day at the Han River Park, enjoying each others company. It was beautiful, and you were thankful to have one more memory to add to your broken heart . You hid your feelings well, because Tae seemed at ease, laughing easily, smiling beautifully, his eyes reflecting the sun that was shining so brightly.

He had brought a blanket, and stopped at a cute little café, getting take-out to bring, so you could have a picnic lunch. You tried one more time to get the hang of the chopsticks, laughing every time you thought you had it, only for whatever you'd been holding to fall before it made it to your mouth. Finally, after more attempts than you cared to count, you got a piece of chicken into your mouth without dropping it. That fact encouraged you, and you tried again, surprisingly getting the piece of broccoli to your mouth as well. A few minutes later, you were eating with chopsticks, by yourself. You smiled proudly, and Tae high fived you.

"I don't know if I'm happy that you learned to use the chopsticks, though." He pouted cutely.

"What? Why, I thought you wanted me to learn."

"I did. But now I don't get to feed you anymore." He frowned, and you giggled. You felt your heart tighten, and you ignored it, looking at him and winking.

"Who said you can't still feed me. Just because I learned, doesn't mean I can't pretend I don't know how to use them."

He smiled, and took another piece of his kimbap, holding it effortlessly between his chopsticks. "Yeah, true. But I've gotta admit, it was fun watching you try to hold them correctly. I knew you'd figure it out eventually." He stuck the whole thing in his mouth, chewing noisily.

You made a face at him, and grabbed another piece of broccoli, popping it into your mouth. You were enjoying the day, forgetting for the time being that it could be the last time you'd get to spend time with him like this.

You'd finished eating, and both of you ended up on your backs, looking up at the sky. The sun was bright, and you put your hand up to shield it from your eyes. You turned your head, looking at Tae, to see that he had his eyes closed, and he seemed to be enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face. You looked at him sadly, wishing that maybe you'd met him under different circumstances. But even so, you wouldn't change a thing.

It struck you as odd that you'd only known him for 5 days. That 5 days felt like a lifetime. But it still was only 5 days. That should make it easier to let him go. But it wouldn't. There would be nothing easy about what you were planning to do.

You looked at him, and tried to commit his face to your memory. You looked at his lashes, resting against his cheeks, his perfect nose with the cute freckle under the tip, his soft pink lips, his sharp jawline. You wanted to bury your face in the crook of his neck, and run your fingers thru his hair. You wanted to kiss him. But you couldn't . You were in a public place. There were people around.

But what did it matter. Soon, you wouldn't have to worry about getting hate, or death threats for being his girlfriend. Because soon...you wouldn't be his girlfriend anymore.

"I know you're looking at me. I can feel it..." he murmured, his hand sliding across the blanket, searching for yours. You smiled, and reached for his hand, curling your fingers thru his.