My Idol

thirty one

He looked at you, his head tilted to one side, a slight smile on his face. "By normal stuff, do you mean date without having to keep it a secret from the entire world?"

~ ♡ ~

You shrugged. "That, and like, can you just go out to a fast food place to eat without worrying about being seen and mobbed by fans?"

"Most of the time, the fans are respectful. Sometimes we get those who get a little carried away, but we always have security somewhere close by in case something like that happens." Jimin answered.

You frowned. "But doesn't that get annoying too? Like, you can never really go anywhere alone, you always need security."

"We go places alone here, it seems that most of the fans are used to us, and don't really bother us if we are out in public. It's only when we leave Korea that we keep security with us. You gotta remember y/n, we love what we do. We are used to this life now, and it feels normal to us. We enjoy it, and wouldn't change it for anything. This life is a dream come true for all of us. Even Tae, who wasn't even planning to audition, and was just there for moral support for a friend."

You looked at him for a minute, wondering something but not sure if you should ask it. But you were curious what his answer would be, and you decided to ask anyway. "So, what happens when you decide you want to settle down, and maybe start a family. Is that even a possibility? Or is it something that will never happen. Will you be an idol forever, and never be able to have a normal life?

Jimin looked at you, his brows drawn together. "Are you asking that question so I can answer it, or is it really Taehyung you want to answer it?"

You bit the inside of your lip, looking down at your lap. "I'm curious Jimin, that's all. It's not a question I would ask Tae. I wouldn't want him to think I was assuming something about our relationship."

"Maybe it's a question I want to answer." Taehyung said from behind you, causing you to jump.

You both turned to see him leaning in the hall doorway, watching the two of you with his arms crossed over his chest, the hint of a smile on his lips.

"Hey Tae, you're awake." Jimin smiled at him, and motioned him over. He walked into the room, and came to sit next to you, reaching for your hand.

"I've been awake for a bit. I woke up when y/n left the room, but I waited to see if she was going to come back. When she didn't, I decided to come see what she was doing." He looked at you then, sighing. "Remember yesterday when I told you to remind me to tell you something?"

You nodded. "I do, I just haven't had a chance to remind you yet."

"I know. But hearing you ask that question kind of gives me the chance to say what I wanted to say." He drew in a breath, and exhaled slowly before he continued. "You told me that I had become your whole world...and when you said that to me, my very first thought was that I never wanted to become anyone's whole world, I never wanted to be that important to one person." He was staring into space, thoughtful. "I never really thought it would happen, to be honest. A relationship was the last thing I was looking for. I guess if I'm being honest, I'd have to say that I didn't want anyone to love me." He looked at you, brows furrowed, mouth turned down in a frown.

You blinked back tears, hoping he wouldn't see, and asked the only thing you could think of to ask at the moment. "Why?" It was barely a whisper, and you really didn't even know if you wanted to hear the answer. You didn't know why he was telling you this now.

He didn't answer, instead looking at the floor. Jimin looked at you, seeing the unshed tears you were trying so hard to hide, then at Tae, who was still looking at the floor. "I think I can answer that, y/n. It's because of exactly what you just asked me, about what happens if we decide we want to settle down, and have a family. If we don't get into relationships, If we don't let anyone fall in love with us, then we don't have to worry about that happening. That way, we don't have to decide between the life we are living now, and the life we might  have if we weren't idols."

You looked at Jimin, almost wishing you didn't understand what he was saying. But you did. Taehyung didn't want to have to choose between you and his career. If your "relationship" had just been one of sex, and hanging out, and hadn't involved feelings, there wouldn't be a problem. It would be easy to end it.

"So, because I fell in love with him...he feels like he has to make a choice now..." you said quietly,  almost as if you were thinking out loud.

Tae looked up at you, alarmed, and he shook his head, reaching up, touching your cheek, making you look at him. "No y/n, there is no choice, I'd choose you, over everything. Please don't ever doubt that. The only reason I wanted to tell you this was because I want you to know that everything I told myself, everything I promised I'd avoid, the fact that I said I would never fall in love with anyone, or let anyone fall in love with me, it all went right out the window when I met you. That's how much you mean to me, how much you've affected my heart. I love you, and I have no regrets when it comes to you, none at all. If I did, I would have never asked you to move into my house."

"Wait, what?" Jimin piped up from the other side of you. "You asked her to move into your house? I thought you were going to sell it..."

"I was thinking about it, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, not yet. Then y/n mentioned that she wanted to look for an apartment to rent. It just made sense. The house is empty, just sitting there, going to waste. I'm hardly ever there. So why not have her move in, and enjoy it, and not have to worry about paying rent."

Jimin shrugged his shoulders. "Makes sense to me. But I'll bet you twenty bucks that if y/n moves in, you'll be there a whole lot more."

"No bet...because I'm sure I will, I'll have a reason to want to be there." Tae smiled softly, looking at you.

You were still teary eyed, remembering that he'd said he didn't want anyone to love him. But you did, you loved him so much. And nothing he could say would change that. Only you didn't want to be a burden to him. He said he'd choose you, but was that really what he wanted? Were you being selfish? Part of you felt like maybe you were.

"So, y/n, did you agree to move into Tae's house or are you still thinking about it?" Jimin asked, looking at you curiously.

"She already agreed. We're going to see if she can get reimbursed the money she paid in advance for her hotel room, and if she can, she's going to check out today, and move into the house." Tae was smiling happily, and he squeezed your hand affectionately.

You forced a smile, because you were too anxious to really smile. You wanted to get married someday, and have kids, and go on vacations. You wanted to do things that families did, like decorate a nursery, and bake Christmas cookies, and get a new puppy, plan birthday parties, take your kids trick or treating, and go on picnics, and just be normal.

You loved Taehyung so much that you  realized you wanted nothing more than to do all  that with him. But now you questioned if that was what he wanted. You didn't want to be the reason that he was forced to make that choice. You loved him to much to make him do something like that.

"I think we should get dressed, and go see if Minhae is there, y/n, so you can ask about the refund. The sooner you can move into the house, the better I'll feel." He stood, pulling you up with him.

Jimin gave you both a smile, and you smiled back nervously as Taehyung led you towards the hall, and back to his room so the two of you could get dressed. Jimin picked up on your uneasiness, though, and was somewhat concerned, not sure why you seemed so troubled. He decided he would ask you about it as soon as he had the opportunity.

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A/n: warning... those with soft hearts may need tissues soon...

Kidding...maybe 🤐🤪