One Bright Day in the Middle of the Night

Chapter 28: Guy Talk

I turned to leave. I had to, there was far too much for me to process. What would make her happy is to fight? But why would a woman want to fight? Her eyes shined when she spoke of it, of battle, and I could feel my heart sing with hers. I understood the feeling, but looking at her, she seems so delicate.

I had relished the feel of my hand against her skin, that warm softness I never wanted to let go. She is still so beautiful to me. Even more so now, now that I have her, that she is mine. But only mine like this, behind bars. Here she is safe, safe from everything. Safe from the dark desires even now stirring inside me, a maelstrom of feeling.

I wanted. I needed, and with a passion that frightened even me with its strength. Were I to unleash it on Alexis? All hope would die within me, as her hatred would surely kill us both. Maybe that would be best.... I stopped, my mind was in such a haze over her request already that I had almost forgotten Alexis had mentioned two things. I turned back to her, my eyes meeting hers through the bars of the cell, the cage I had put her in.

"What was the second thing you wanted?" She looked nervous? But it was for only a brief second, when her voice came to me, clear and steady.

"That one is even easier." Beautiful blue eyes met my own, challenging me yet again with her gaze. "I want you."

My mouth dropped open in shock, as three words I never expected to hear hit my ears. -I- want you. I -want- you. I want -you-. Over and over they echoed through my skull for what seemed like an eternity. Desire roared up, blanking my mind, and I closed my mouth, clenching my jaw. No. No. No. No. It was all I could do to stay in place, to not move, my body aching to reach for her. I could see it, see myself grab her, and throw her to the ground, my body riding hers, pinning her beneath me.

I was never more grateful to be separated from her than now. How could she say such a thing to me? Doesn't she understand? I can't have her. She's not mine. The spoils of war, nothing more, nothing else. Maybe if I keep telling myself that, I will actually believe it.

"Never mind. Forget I said anything." Her eyes shined in the light, a wealth of sadness lie in the undertones of her words, and just the sound brought me back from the abyss. Alexis turned away from me, taking a few steps away toward the center of the cell. That's it, step away. Please. Stay away right now, I don't know if I could take it otherwise.

Her back was to me, her hands in fists, and I was at a complete loss. Her body language was rigid, as if she was holding herself by sheer will, and I didn't know what to do. Her words were bitter, dropped from her mouth as if they alone would hurt her.

"I'm always wanting what I can't have." Alexis sounded hurt, broken, her words just barely above a whisper, and they hit me like a slap.

I'm always wanting what I can't have. It echoed my thoughts almost identically, wanting what I couldn't have. I knew I had to say something. My mind whirled with confusion, not sure what direction to go.

"....I'll come by again." I had to leave. I had to think. I turned and walked away, leaving her behind, my mind completely overwhelmed.

I don't know how long I sat in the doorway of my room overlooking the gardens before Sasuke came up to me. He took one look at the sake carafes littering the area around me, and sighed, sitting down in a spot next to me. I looked over at him sharply, my eyes narrowed to slits as he picked up a carafe and filled my cup.

"You finally went to see Alexis, didn't you?"

I raised the cup to my lips, downing the drink in one fluid move before turning to the ninja, his face impassive as usual.

"What of it?" I still hadn't come to terms with the day in the least, and the sun was now starting to sink at the horizon. How long had I sat here?