The Life of Rachel Berry

Battlefield

Chapter 13 - Battlefield 

Rachel's POV:

Finn was telling me his feelings. This rarely happened, even though he was such a compassionate person. He said it. Finn told me he loves me. I couldn't believe it. I was so utterly and completely in love with Finn Hudson. We were kissing so heavily, then my phone went off. That damn phone, always found a way to ruin my relationship with Finn. It was almost as the phone was me. I didn't even know why Jesse was texting me. We talked once and awhile because of glee club but that was it. Then suddenly, it's almost as he knew Finn would see the message, he had to text me something that sounded more then it was. Everything I said was wrong. It didn't even make sense, I was just trying to quickly fix it. But I didn't. I had ruined our anniversary. I looked down, once Finn left. Looking at my hand, where he had slid the ring on. This ring meant he loves me. It meant that no matter what, I would forever stand by him, and always be his girl. I stood up fixing the creases on my dress. I silently walked up the stairs where Finns door was open. Like he wanted me to come talk.

Leaning against the wall outside of his room I apologized, I explained myself. "I'm not coming in, because I know you don't want to see me right now, and I don't blame you. Me texting Jesse isn't explainable. But the only time we would text would be about music. Nothing more. Before we started dating, I didn't have feelings for him, but I did like the idea of making you jealous. Which saying it aloud, sounds terrible, and selfish. And we did matter to me before we started dating. I had a huge crush on you, for over a year before I even talked to you. We meant everything to me. Sometimes I try not to make big moments personally for me, look big because I don't want to show I care, because if we end up somehow broken up I don't want to be completely heart broken by you." I start tearing up as my voice cracks, but I clear my throat and try to continue. "I honestly don't know why I don't show my feelings. But starting now, I'm going to change. I won't hide behind my emotions, I will tell you how I feel in every moment. Even when your fart really stinks I'll tell you, like i normally would." Starting to have a small smile as I say that. "I hope you forgive me, Finn. because I'm nothing without you. And I don't know how I'll live without you being next to me. I love you." I hear nothing from his bedroom. I nod to myself, accepting it. I walk down the stairs seeing Kurt. Told him I needed a ride and that was it. He didn't ask questions.

Finn's POV:

My heart was literally broken. Hearing her come upstairs, I didn't want to see her. I didn't want her to see me crying, because in that moment I was. When she brought up my farts, I slightly smiled to myself. And when she said she loves me, I was saying it back in a whisper voice. Once she left, I shut my door, thinking. Kurt messaged me, told me he wasn't going to be home and so weren't my parents. I went downstairs and cleaned up the mess from our anniversary. Blowing out the candles, seeing the wrinkled blanket from where we made out. From where I gave her the ring. It hurt. A lot. After cleaning up I showered. Getting into bed, I went to sleep thinking of Rachel.

When I woke the next morning, I was also thinking of Rachel. I couldn't get her out of my head. Not even for a one day. Today was Monday, and that meant seeing Rachel today at school. This was our first fight since the bonfire. Which was over a year ago. On my way to school, I missed seeing her next to me. I was so lonely for her, I even parked in our "secret" spot. I was already late to school. Running into school, I saw her with Santana and Mercedes. I quickly looked away, as I saw her take a glimpse at me, as I was at my locker. We had English together which was next period. I was walking down the hall towards the class and she came from the other direction. We ended up getting there at the same time, I did less then a half smile and let her go first. We always sat next to each other, and I didn't want everything to change because of this fight so I sat next to her. I think she was surprised, considering we hadn't talked for three days almost, and that was the longest we've ever gone without talking, touching, or kissing each other. After school was over, we still didn't talk. I walked to my truck, and I drove home. Not seeing my girl, was one of the hardest things ever.

Rachel's POV:

Finn was always on my mind. I love him so much. I didn't want school today. I didn't want to have to look at him, or have him look at me. I was ashamed. I got a ride from Kurt. I was missing our "Secret" place. I was missing Finn. Through all of this, I hadn't thought of Jesse at all only Finn. Today was slow. Even though Finn was hurt and upset with me he still sort of treated me like I was still his. I was still wearing the ring, because no matter what I wouldn't take it off. Finn noticed too, when he let me go first in English, he looked down at my hand, and almost smiled. I walked home instead of riding with Kurt, I wanted to have time by myself.. Once I got home, I went to bed. I just need to think. To think about this battlefield Finn and I were on.